Ash Wednesday - First Day Of Lent 2011

Having been raised Southern Baptist, such traditions as Fat Tuesday, Ash Wednesday, and Lent were not observed. Several years ago I joined a Disciples of Christ church, and I found that the DOC denomination does observe the Liturgical Calendar. I don't see any problem with observing such things as long as the primary focus is where it should be--on Christ.

Lent lasts about forty days. As I understand it, the 40 day length is in commemoration of Christ's preparation for his ministry--the temptation in the desert. As such, the tradition is that those who observe it are to give up something in a similar manner as Christ. Some give up shopping, or drinking, or smoking, or wearing certain clothes. One year a girl I knew gave up meat. This year I am endeavoring to give up solid food.

Giving up solid food for 46 days (Lent lasts 46 days this year) is no mean feat. I've never given up solid food for that length of time. I have given it up for about three weeks. That was after I had my gastric bypass surgery. Indeed, it is because of my surgery that I'm giving up solid food. I've gained some weight back because I started eating badly again and stopped exercising. So my decision isn't completely altruistic or religious. It is partially that, but in large part pragmatic. I simply have got to start losing the weight again. I just wish I could lose the appetite and the desire for food. As often happens, I make a resolution, and something immediately comes to test it. That happened this afternoon at work. One of our groups had lunch leftovers: lasagna and bread from a restaurant I love. As hard as it was, I abstained. But I thought of it all the way to church.

This was the first time I've made it to church on a Wednesday night in several years, maybe even as much as twenty years. It was my first Ash Wednesday service ever. TCC wasn't offering a service per se. The sanctuary was open for prayer and meditation. The youth, on the other hand, had their own Ash Wednesday service. Yizong burned up some grass and mixed it with oil for the forehead marking. There was a lot of modern praise and worship music. Shelby, our resident high school senior, gave some testimony about her past. The rest of the group took it respectfully and well, and I am glad. I thought it would not be well received. I declined to be marked when that part of the service was performed. (I believe it to go against the principle set forth in Matthew 6:16-17.)

After the service there was some general fellowship for the youth. I say fellowship, but in the context of this youth group, it means hanging out. There were some announcements and plans that were attempted to be made, but the kids at this point, weren't listening and didn't care about anything other than hanging out. Several people got pretty frustrated at that behavior. Loryn, one of the youth, had an activity planned, but it was abortive getting it started, and nobody really listened to her once it was started. Poor Yizong got frustrated enough to yell at them a little. There was a little shock, but I think it was good for them.

For once in several months, I was home before ten at night. Day 1 of 46 down, 45 more to go.

Photography Class 1a

Sunday saw Yizong and I teach our next photography class. Or rather, reteach the first class. With so many people not there we felt it would be better to go over all the previous material if we had more people. This time we definitely had more people.

The class went much as the first one did, especially with Yizong trying to be professor. He didn't engage in it as much this time around, which was good, but he still has the professorial leanings. I did more talking this time around, and I also put in some of my own pictures to help explain things. We covered all the topics previously, then I covered leading lines and some additional perspective items.

What struck me this time around was the immaturity and undisciplinedness of the kids. We had everything in there from a 12 year old to a high school senior. It was a tossup who was more undisciplined, the 12yo or the senior. Shelby, the senior, was seemed more interested in twitting Yizong for his heavily-accented English than paying attention to what was being talked about. She stopped once I started talking. Two others, Selena and Travis, were far more interested in texting or doing something else on their cell phones. I'm sure Selena didn't care one whit about anything that was being said. It was a constant battle to keep everyone's attention, and after a time, it was a drag. There was constant talking, twittering, noise, and side discussions all over the place. How do we overcome that? Do we overcome that? One thing is for sure, these kids definitely aren't Ridglea kids.

Death Comes Unexpectedly!

Every once in awhile, I hear something that bears repeating. What follows came from the movie Pollyanna. I don't know if this is a real sermon or not. All I can say is, if it's not, it ought to be. If you want to see it delivered by the immortal Karl Malden, then click here for the video. I absolutely love this sermon! Here it is, written out:

"Death comes unexpectedly! And the God, Jehovah, will execute his vengeance on ye who despise his undying love and trample his benefits underfoot. The unconverted soul, the foolish children of man do miserably delude themselves in the false confidence of their own strength and wisdom. They trust to nothing but a shadow. But bear testament. Death comes unexpectedly!

"Now, you say, ah, no, I had not intended it to come now. I had laid out matters otherwise. I thought my scheme good. I intended to take effectual care, but death came unexpectedly like a thief, outwitting me, too quick for me. Oh, cursed foolishness that I had flattered and pleased myself with vain dreams of repentance. But sudden destruction caught me up.

"And now He will deal with you. Now the great King of Heaven and Earth will abolish and annihilate this pride! Will crush the hardened wretch of the polluted infinite abomination, and rain on him a deluge of fire and brimstone! And where is their strength, then? Where are the great leviathans who defied God then? Where is their courage, these proud spirits? Yes... Death comes unexpectedly.

"And the Dread Judge has the key of Hell. He shuts... and no man opens. In Hell you will be reserved in chains of darkness forever and ever. This place of atonement, of damned souls and misery, with nothing to relieve you, no comfort, no water for your parched tongues, no place to rest or take a breath, but the everlasting, infinite convulsions of misery, forever! And ever and ever!

"Now Isaiah has warned us, on the day of vengeance, the earth shall be laid to waste. And the cormorant and the bittern shall possess the land. The raven and the screech owl shall dwell in it. And who is man to think he can withstand God's mighty wrath? Great mountains cannot stand before this wrath. Yea, he can lay the earth to pieces in one moment or shatter the whole universe with one stroke of his fiery sword! How dreadful is the state of those who are in daily danger of this great wrath, this abyss of death and despair.

"Yet, this is the dismal case of every soul in this congregation who has not been born again, however moral or strict, sober and religious you may otherwise be. There is no security for the wicked because there are no visible signs of death at hand! Unconverted men walk over the pit of hell on a rotten covering. And there are innumerable places on this covering so weak they will not bear their weight. And these places cannot be seen. The arrows of death fly unseen as noonday. God has many different unsearchable ways of taking the wicked from this world.

"Who here in this congregation listening to this discourse will soon be visited by this covenant of darkness? There you are, siting there, calm in your knowledge of health, secure in your well-being. Yet who could suffer the agonies of the damned tomorrow? Yes, even today or maybe the next hour, the next minute. And if we were to know which of you it was, what an awful sight it would be. A soul doomed to the everlasting bottomless pit of a divine wrath! Yes, death comes unexpectedly! Amen."

- Reverend Ford, Pollyanna, 1960

Enduring Heartbreak

Today was one of the most heartbreaking days I think I've spent in quite some time. It was instructive, had new experiences, and turned out one of the worst results a person could possibly look forward to.

Herman and Jennifer went to court today to try to wrest custody of Herman's children from his first marriage from his wife. I went as their friend and supporter. I've been working with them all week, preparing their house for their kids. It's been a long week, and the anticipation was quite high. H and J's lawyer all but assured them victory in court, so I'm told. So confident are they of getting their children that they remodeled five out of six rooms of the upstairs of their house. It started last weekend with three days of solid work, and continued with work every night throughout the week to get their house ready. I went up last weekend and stayed with them a couple of days to help move furniture, paint and clean. Later in the week I spent two more nights up with them getting the last of the work done. Thursday night we finished. We were tired, but happy, and looking forward to Friday.

We woke up early on Friday and dressed in our good clothes for court. We picked up some pictures that H and J planned on using for court and proceeded to their lawyer's office. This was the first time I'd every been to a law office. Having seen lots of movies and TV shows, I was thinking the offices would be posh, maybe even luxurious. But, as is usually the case, reality is often much less glamorous. The offices were in a sort of strip mall, and the offices themselves were functional, yet very spartan. We were shown into an assistant's office where we had a pre-hearing discussion. We were shortly called over to the courthouse for the hearing.

We crossed the street to the courthouse, and I was turned away at the metal detectors. Apparently multi-tools and pocket knives are evil and disallowed in court. I love the way society feels that one weapon is any worse than another. It makes me feel like I live in the UK. But, to be expedient, I recrossed the street, handed over my tools to the assistant, and reentered the courthouse. Security was no problem this time, and I made my way to the elevator.

To say the next hour was bizarre doesn't do it justice. When I went up the elevator, I was sharing it with Herman's ex-wife, the respondent in today's case. That felt ultra-weird. After we emerged, they went one way and I went the other. (I wonder if they recognized me. I'm almost sure they did.) Down the hall were Herman, Jen, and their lawyer. The lawyer behaved very much like what I expected. Not quite what I saw on TV, but fairly close. After some last minute discussion and prep work, we entered the courtroom.

The courtroom itself was modern. There were three or four rows of what amounted to church pews without the holders for hymnals. The room was nicely decorated. The judge sat in the right-hand corner of the room as you face the courtroom. Each table had a microphone. The court reporter sat to the judge's right. The witness box was on the left of the judge and had a microphone also. To the left of the witness box was the bailiff. There were computer monitors in front of the judge, the court reporter, and the bailiff. The bailiff was wearing a brown shirt, dark pants, and was carrying what appeared to be a 1911 on his right side. The judge was woman, and was wearing the traditional black robe, exactly as expected.

What I didn't expect was the apparent looseness of the docket schedule. I didn't hear our case called. That's because it was called as soon as the previous case had finished. We were scheduled at 11am, but we were good to go as soon as the lawyers had set up. Our side set up and was ready first. The judge asked if the respondent had been notified as they were not there. They had, they were just running half a minute late. Our lawyer conferred with the ex-wife's lawyer for a time, then we were off and running.

Over the next half hour, I saw what had been acted out on TV hundreds of times. Lawyers called witnesses. Questions were asked. Testimony was given. The only thing I didn't expect was how witnesses would be sworn in. All witnesses were asked by the judge to rise and raise their right hands, and then she swore them all in at the same time. After the swearing, each was instructed to come forward and give their names to the court reporter. That done, the judge instructed all witnesses to leave the courtroom and wait until called. I was not a witness, so I could observe the entire proceeding. First Herman was called. Then Jennifer. Then we rested. Then the ex-wife was called. Finally, her lawyer testified as to what his expenses were. I don't feel it my duty or privilege to rehash everything that was said. The upshots were: the custody agreement was not changed, the ex-wife was instructed not to smoke around her kids, the place to exchange the kids was changed to a "more neutral" location, and Herman and Jen were instructed to pay the ex-wife's lawyer's expenses. Jennifer was fighting back tears in the courtroom. Herman was thunderstruck--a look of total, uncomprehending shock on his face.

Our lawyer was certainly not expecting the outcome. Once we were clear of the court, he said as much. He offered what advice he could under the circumstances, but whether any of it was heard or understood is something I'm not sure of. We just sat in the car in the law office parking lot for a time after the lawyer bade is farewell. Jennifer was sobbing. Herman was upset and trying to think of anything he could do to reverse the course of events. I sat in the back seat, teary-eyed, but trying to be strong. Finally, after having made a few phone calls, we proceeded on our way, shaken and uncertain of what to do.

After some consultations, all I could do was take them to lunch then return to base. Nobody had eaten anything at all up to this point in the day, and it was nearly half past two in the afternoon when we finally took a moment to eat. H and J were absolutely beside themselves with worry and rage, grasping at any stray or crazy idea that presented itself. H's mother and her husband came, but all that happened was more pot-stirring. We left the restaurant emotionally drained and exhausted and drove quietly back to H and J's house in Roanoke. They promptly passed out for a few blessed minutes before they were to pick up their kids, and I did some reflecting.

What am I getting myself into, I wondered. Finding my significant other, my wife, has been a priority for some time now. I want it to be the right person: the one I'll spend the rest of my life with. This experience upped the pressure on me to get it right. I don't ever want to have to go through this. To lose my kids and have to fight for them. To see my kids stripped away from me by some stranger in a black robe. To be told I can only do certain things certain way and only on certain days by an impersonal, cold legal system. What am I getting myself into?