Second Date Obtained!

Last night Monica and I were texting back and forth. I asked her if she'd like to either go to the range with me or go caching. She leaned towards caching on Sunday, but after consulting her and her friends' work schedules, she counter offered to have a little dinner and hang out Friday evening. That works for me! We're to meet at Mijo's after work on Friday. Can't wait!

7/11 Christianity

Sometime last year, my brother sprang a new phrase on me: 7/11 music. I asked him what 7/11 music was. The short definition, he said, is singing the same seven words eleven times. It’s a term he heard applied to the current modern music in churches.

I thought this to be a little disparaging, if accurate, and I also thought it was an isolated instance of the phrase. Until I heard it twice more. I was having lunch with one of our family friends, and she used the phrase 7/11 church. She described it the exact same way: seven words repeated eleven times. Then when I was at ERCC two Sundays ago, the pastor used the phrase and trumpeted it as a good thing. Is it?

I’m fairly indifferent to music in church, especially as I’m wary to sing anything. The reason for that is I believe that it if you make a promise, it doesn’t matter whether it’s spoken, unspoken, whispered, or sung, it’s still a promise, and I won’t make a promise unless I mean it. A lot of these so-called 7/11 songs are promises. I’ll give up my life for you, or something to that effect, is a fairly common refrain. Even more of them are just describing some aspect of God or Jesus. You conquered death was the refrain of one of the songs sung last Sunday in ERCC. But is it good or bad?

To be sure, I don’t know. One of the things 7/11 music will do is make it easier for people to remember and memorize it. That’s the very nature of memorization: repetition. If I say the same thing over and over, eventually it will ingrain itself into my mind. That’s why I still remember the Lord’s Prayer in Old English, most of the first 18 lines of the Canterbury Tales in Middle English, Oh Captain, My Captain, and bits and pieces of other Shakespearean plays. It’s the major way we teach children to memorize things like Bible verses and multiplication tables.

I’m all for memorizing multiplication tables. I use them every day. Where I think it becomes a problem is when it’s used as indoctrination or “brain washing.” Why? Just because I say something over and over again doesn’t make it true. That’s why I don’t sing: I want to make sure that what I’m singing, and potentially ingraining in my mind is true. This is the way that a lot of psychotherapists and self-help “experts” do things. Want to make yourself feel better? Just keep saying: I am valuable, I am valuable, I am valuable… until you actually believe it.

If there is a danger to singing like this, then why do churches sing these types of songs? The smart churches know that there is a perception that singing songs from a hymnal with traditional music is seen as stodgy and old school. Smart churches are trying to make themselves attractive to the younger crowd, and the younger crowd is used to the 7/11 music. And the prevailing school of thought is: if the audience likes 7/11 music, then let’s make sure the songs are “good” instead of bad.

But there is almost no thought in singing 7/11-style music. You can put the words on the screen, start the music, and watch people singing. Are they aware of what they are singing? I tend to think not, and in my mind, that’s the danger of 7/11 music. As I said before, it doesn’t matter how you make a promise once it’s made. With the understanding of how 7/11 music operates, I choose not to sing just to be safe.

Bad Decision Leads To Good Instruction

So where did I go to church today? ERCC. Why? I wanted to see if Jessica was there.

It was a bad decision, plain and simple. I wasn't thinking about church. I was thinking about my social life. Guess what? She wasn't even there! Gotta love karma. But it wasn't all bad.

The pastor talked about something that I had heard from another pastor earlier this year. What it all boils down to is: you can tell a Christian by how he lives his life. That's a gross oversimplification, especially because I know a bunch of good, nice people that aren't Christians, but the flip side is I know a bunch of crumbs that claim to be Christian.

The concept is this: I can claim to be a Christian, but if there isn't any evidence of Christianity in my life, then I'm either a liar or a hypocrite. There are plenty of people who claim to be Christians that aren't. Some are obvious, like Larry Flynt (publisher of Hustler magazine). Others are very hard to tell. That's the lying part.

The hypocrite part is the harder one to figure out, especially at church. When you're at church, you tend to act a certain way. It's how you act when your're NOT in church that really tells the story. There are exceptions, of course, but identifying a hypocrite takes a little more time. But I digress.

The upshot is this: if you really want to be a Christian, then it has to show in your life outside the church house. If you claim to be a Christian, and it doesn't show, then your integrity is rightly called into question. (Disclaimer: I'm just as guilty of this as everyone else, and my integrity has been called on more than one occasion.) This all goes back to John 15 and the part that says a good vine cannot produce bad fruit and vice versa, with the principle being that you can tell a Christian by the type of fruit he produces.

While the message was good, I must confess that I was disappointed, but not because I didn't see the girl I was interested in. I had thought about going to some of the small groups that the church is going to start shortly, but not after hearing them described. After the service the leaders of the small groups got up and did a one minute spiel about what they were going to do. Their advertising was less then stellar, and I really didn't hear about any subjects that I would be interested in.

Long story short, I should have trusted my instincts and gone to another church instead of chasing a non-existent relationship, but I did get a consolation prize. Hopefully next Sunday will be different.

Downshift Saturday

Wow! has it been a busy week! Doing second shift, going to the SWAG get together on Wednesday, and a date last night, and I'm wiped for today.

I had planned on going to a Pampered Chef party at my friend Sarina's house. I had even responded in the affirmative on her Facebook announcement. But I slept in too late, and once I got up, the laxative that my doctor had prescribed took effect. Long story short, I stayed in the bathroom while Pampered Chef took place. Ah well, I'll make the next one.

With my morning now shot, I just vegged around the house. There were no definite plans, just a sense that I have to do something about my lawn. Early in the afternoon Yizong called and asked if I'd go with him to buy yet another range finder camera. I said I would, got dressed, and went up to his apartment.

We left there and went to East Dallas to one of the seediest neighborhoods I've been to in quite some time. Yizong called me for a specific reason--he knows I carry a gun, and this is one of those neighborhoods that makes me glad I have one. Of course the problem is that Yizong never writes down exactly where we're going. (The last time we guessed at where we were supposed to meet the seller and got lucky.) We drove up and down the street a few times, growing more wary as we did so. Finally he called a mission abort, and we decided to go to the gun show for a little while.

This was the first time I went into a gun show and didn't spend more than a hundred dollars. Truth be told, I spent a grand total of five dollars on some beef jerky. Yizong tried to get me to buy a camouflaged tool bag as a purse for Monica, but I didn't really fancy the idea, so he ended up buying it for his wife. I saw a few things that were nice, but nothing I really wanted to buy--especially as I didn't have the money to buy anything much.

After we returned to Arlington I went down to Golfsmith, a big golfing store. I played with a bunch of putters, drove a few balls with a couple of drivers, and drooled over some of the high end equipment. I bought a few golf balls (one of my new weaknesses) and found a deal for a free glove to boot.

Academy Sports was next on my hit list, and I almost wish I hadn't gone. This weekend was tax free weekend, so everywhere was pretty much besieged by people trying to save a few cents (all that you really save on tax free weekend). I looked at their golf stuff, compared prices, and took a spin around the store before I went to Dick's Sporting Goods.

Dick's is a place I don't usually go to for two reasons: their prices are usually a bit higher, and they're in the mall. I avoid malls in general due to the crowds and the teeny bopper scene, but I wanted to see what they had in golf. I found several 5 woods, but they were lady's clubs, so I abandoned that search and went to the Knife Shoppe to have my pocket knife sharpened.

After the mall I took a spin to Target and Walmart to get some groceries and finish my exercising for the day. Groceries and a few goodies in hand, I bailed out and came home tired, but satisfied. Except that I wasn't done.

Even as I write this post, I still haven't figured out where I'll go to church tomorrow. I thought about going back to ERCC and see if Jessica goes, but if I do that, it will only be to see if I can connect with Jessica, which doesn't seem like a good enough reason. Besides, it's currently a captain-less vessel, and there are a lot of churches to go to. I may pick another one at random and go to it. Hopefully next week I'll have done some homework and find a church that advertises a singles group. But who knows... if things work out with Monica, I may not need a singles group any more. Stay tuned folks!

The First First Date

Finally, a day to downshift and relax. This second shift work schedule has really thrown me for a loop, and I had intended to go in to finish off my hours for this week, but I only got about one more hour before the activities of the day started. I had a massage in the afternoon, then retreated to the house for tonight's activity.

My friend Yizong called right before Monica came over. He wanted to make sure that I would dress appropriately for the event. I told him I would, but what we were doing tonight wasn't complicated or dressy, so I wore a work shirt, shorts, and tennis shoes. That's about what Monica had on, so it turned out to be a good call dressing wise.

Monica came over to my house about 5:30ish after fighting traffic. After a little discussion, we decided to catch dinner first. I took her to Marquez Bakery, a place very near the ball parks in Arlington. She and I both like Mexican, and Marquez Bakery makes really good food.

We got there about 6ish and looked around, deciding what to have for dinner. Monica was enthralled with the Pepsi in the recycled glass bottles from Mexico, and picked one of those our for her drink while I went for a simple bottle of water. We ordered, found a booth, and proceeded to talk until the place closed. We talked about travels, work, geocaching, and anything else that popped into our minds while we munched on chips and queso, and assorted other items.

Before we left Monica took advantage of the bakery part of the establishment. She got some cookies and a cake, and we picked up some chips to go with the leftover queso from dinner. (Important note: don't order a large queso from Marquez Bakery unless you MEAN it! It's huge!) With our purchases in hand and a good dinner digesting, we repaired to the house to start our Futurama night.

We really didn't talk that much after dinner or during Futurama. We were both full and just downshifted to watch Futurama. In all we took in all the new episodes that had just aired over the summer, and it was about midnight when we said good night, and she left for her apartment.

I had a great time, and as a date, I think it went successfully. I'm not sure if she's interested in me, but I'd definitely like to try for another date. Next Wednesday is another South West Arlington Geocacher get together, and we're both going to try to make it. Hopefully we'll get together and put together another date in the very near future.

The Stupid Things I Do to Increase My Chances

Working second shift is a drag. It's a drag because it is a lot more demanding time-wise than first shift, especially if you do your business/relaxing in the day and go to work at the end of the day like I do. Consequently it plays hell with evening social activities.

Last night was a prime example. I had not planned on going to the Wednesday night Geocachers get together at No Frills grill, but Monica, the girl I met last Friday, wanted me to come. She's coming to my house on Friday to take in the new Futuramas, so I guess it's a kind of date. Wanting (or hoping) to increase my chances of fostering the relationship, I elected to take off work, go to the get together, then stay ultra late to make up the time.

I had fun, but now I'm behind at work. Tonight is the last night of the week, and it'll be a long one. I hope it was worth it.

Shopping or Searching

Am I church shopping, or searching for the place God wants me? That's a question I have struggled with extensively as part of this project. It's a complicated answer with a lot of prickly issue to go with it. I have been accused of church shopping at least four times this year by a coworker, an acquaintance from my old church, one of my neighbors, and an online high school acquaintance. But am I?

From the way I write about the churches I go to, it can definitely be spun that I am church shopping. The concept of church shopping runs something like this: I don't like the church I'm going to for whatever reason, so I'll simply find another church that I do like. The key word in that statement is: LIKE. The typical scenario is that for some reason, or somehow, I no longer like the church I'm going to, so instead of working within the church or somehow trying to change (or accept) the issue, I leave and find a church that doesn't have the issue or somehow treats me differently.

So why should a person leave a church? There are very few reasons, but one of them, and the one that matters the most to me is: willfully disregarding the Bible or willfully doing wrong. What constitutes willfully doing wrong? Intentionally lying would be one example. But even that is not sufficient cause. It would have to be systematic, continuous, and, when pointed out or confronted, disregarded and ignored by the powers that be. Unfortunately those things do happen in churches. There are other scenarios that would qualify; the above was not mine.

When a person experiences the kind of situation I just described, it heightens the awareness of that person when reengaging in another scenario. In the case of looking for a church, and more specifically in my case, it means that the churches I visit are thoroughly examined before I would be willing to join. Some churches are easy to weed out of the mix because they exhibit bad behavior right up front. Others may be better at covering it up, but if it exists, it will come out.

There is a line from the movie Pollyanna: "When you look for the bad in mankind expecting to find it, you surely will." And that's the problem with a project like this. It is VERY easy once a person has been hurt to look for the bad in a situation. I hope that's not what I'm doing.

The sole criteria for finding a church should be: is this where God wants me? Unfortunately, it very rarely is. In my case, I believe that where God wants me involves certain things for certain reasons. One of those is: I believe I am supposed to get married. Why? It's due to I Corinthians 7:9. It says, "But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion." This part of I Cor. talks about being single, how Paul wishes we could all be single so that we could concentrate on serving God only. But this little clause was inserted for those of us who have issues being single. That being the case for me, I believe it is my duty to solve that self control issue as soon as possible. Obviously there's more to it than this, but this post isn't the place to go into it. Maybe some day later...