A Little Bit Closer

Tonight I finished my application essay for seminary. Two more letters of reference came back. I need one more, a couple of additional forms, then it's all in to the graduate school Friday. As my cubie said, "There's nothing like waiting till the last minute!"

I'm An Engineer, I Don't Do Subtle

Subtle, to me, is a sledge hammer to the head. That's about what it takes sometimes for me to notice something. (Unfortunately, sometimes that's what God uses, too.) Why is that important? To me it seems like that's what a lot of goes into meeting and keeping a woman. Case in point: flirting.

Flirting is something I don't understand. I looked it up on the Internet and read the Wikipedia article. Yes, I know, that shows just what kind of geek/nerd I am, but cut me a break! I don't exactly have a lot of experience in this area. The article makes it seem like a lot of flirting is done with nothing but subtleties. A wink here, a giggle there, but nothing so bold as saying, "Hey, do you want to go out?"

So what prompted this entry? There's a girl at the Barnes and Noble over in south Fort Worth that I think I would like and I thought was flirting with me. We've met three times and had good, non-trivial conversations all three times. She smiles at me each time she sees me, turns towards me and actively engages me. I engage back. The second time I met, I offered to take her to a play and/or a concert. She turned me down. The way it went, I thought she wasn't interested.

I didn't go back to B&N for a bit, and hadn't planned to until this weekend. I was in the area after a movie, waiting on a concert, and I went over to B&N to get one of their litre bottles of water before a concert. That girl was there again, working the cashier counter, and we went through the same dance as last time. She smiled, I smiled. We talked and got interrupted (she's working, after all). I check out, make a half-hearted attempt at getting a date, and before I can even get to the asking, she shuts down that particular avenue.

So what's the story? Is she flirting with me or not? I don't know; I just can't tell. Well, our paths have crossed three times already. I guess we'll see what happens if they cross again.

Church Review - Arlington Park Baptist Church

Arlington Park Baptist Church

5510 Matlock Road

Arlington, TX 76018

(817) 468-2722

www.arlingtonpark.org

This church is one that I drive past quite often. It came up as the fourth or fifth church in my Google Maps search on Monday. They advertised a singles group. As promised, I went there today to check it out.

When I pulled into the parking lot, I noticed that the lot was small, and there weren't a lot of cars around. There are two buildings--an older one with a steeple, and a newer one of the sheet metal exterior type. I saw everyone walking into this one, so I reasoned that the sanctuary must be in this building. On my way I saw that there was more parking in the back of the buildings, so there may be more capacity than I originally thought.

When I made it into the sanctuary, it was a little bigger than the one I was in last week, but still fairly small. I estimate it's capacity to be between 250-300 bodies. The sanctuary is modern. There are no pews, just the standard linked chairs. The stage was deeper than last week's, but not as many modern instruments. I saw a violin, a piano, an acoustic-electric and an electric guitar. There were drums, but I didn't see (or rather hear) them until the service was underway. There is a space for a choir, and this church does have a choir. There are no hymnals here either, just the standard projector/screen arrangement.

The service started with the standard musical worship time. Worship wasn't as modern this week, but it was somewhat Baptist in taste. That's fine with me--I hail from a Baptist background anyway, so I knew some of the songs and was familiar with what to expect. The songs were a mix. We sang a version of Amazing Grace, some older modern worship tunes, and a few I didn't recognize (which I'm guessing were later tunes). Midway through there was an open prayer time. Congregants are invited to come forward to pray at the altar or on the steps. These congregants, unlike some others, do just that. The offering is one I've only seen done in one other church (although I'm sure many do it this way). There are three boxes, two at the front of the sanctuary and one at the back. Congregants leave their seats and put their offering in one of those boxes.

The preaching was worlds better than last Sunday. This pastor has a commanding voice, but is very reserved in his style. He had a good message that stuck together. We actually did pull out our Bibles and read from them. (I must confess I got off without my Bible, so I had to share with one of the other members.) I enjoyed the message thoroughly and didn't take any notes concerning the operations of the church. I did jot down a couple of points concerning the sermon in the spaces provided on the back of the bulletin (really handy). At the conclusion of the service was an altar call, some announcements, and then we were done.

Two things to note. I met a man named Rene (didn't get his last name). He was very welcoming. He went out of his way to make sure I was included in the service. Afterwards I talked with his wife and him. They were quite charming and completely open. I asked about the singles group the church had advertised on their website. They immediately introduced me to a Mr. Kawamoto.

The Kawamotos are in charge of their singles group. No, it's not a singles group, according to Mr. Kawamoto. It's the "Young Adults" group. It meets for Bible study each Sunday at 9:15am. There were 9 people this morning, although there are more: on the order of 12 or 13. The age range is 18-36, so being 31, I fit in the range. I enjoyed talking with the Kawamotos, and I left with two invitations: one for a movie at their house with the young adults next Saturday at 5pm, and another to join in the Sunday cookout at the church after the service next weekend.

My plans are forming for next weekend. I will go to movie night, the class on Sunday and the cookout. I hope this is a good sign of things to come!

So Where Do You Go To Meet Someone?

There are a lot of questions floating around my mind as part of this project, and one of them is: where do you go to meet someone? It seems like a fairly simple question I suppose, but the answer is a little elusive. My friends all give me the same advice. Joe, they say, you want to meet someone who likes the things you like and does the things you do, so look at your hobbies and interests and go to places that engage those tastes. Well, there's just one little problem there.

My interests seem to lie outside the mainstream "datable" material. I like to go shooting and fishing. I like reading, but not to the exclusion of all else, and definitely not to the point where I analyze something to death. Most of my time revolves around work and home chores, so what little time I do have is usually spent recovering from one or the other. When I do indulge in my hobbies, it's usually a solitary pursuit.

Take yesterday's and today's events. Today I went to a gun show. I like walking around and seeing what there is to see. There is all kinds of history at gun shows, and not necessarily just guns. I saw flags, coins, a few stamps, pictures, old money, books, and, of course, guns. I spent nearly five hours hanging around there and helping my friend Gerry run his table. (Ok, I didn't quite run anything, but I did get to sit behind the table like I was running it.)

Being behind the table and walking around a show, you see a lot of different things and a lot of different people. I saw old guys, families, couples, handicapped types, some women, some children, and even a baby or two. But is this a place where I can meet someone? Maybe, but I wouldn't quite know how to go about doing it, especially because most of the women there in my age/interest range were walking around with their husbands/boyfriends.

Last night was a little different. I went to a concert with friends. It was a concert I wanted to go to--a lot of John Williams' movie music. It was mostly science fiction/fantasy: Star Wars, Harry Potter, Superman, etc. It wasn't a concert they usually go to, but they went with me anyway. I noticed the same thing as at the gun show--a lot of different kinds of people, but really no single women. As we were driving home, we were talking about this project and the blog, and this very question was brought up. Where does a person go to meet people? At this stage of life, it's a little difficult because you don't have school to rely on any more. My main solution has been the church. I don't yet know if it's a good solution. I hope it is, but only time will tell.

Amazing Concert!

I just got home from one of the most impressive concerts I've been to. The Fort Worth Symphony Orchestra is doing their Concerts in the Garden series, and tonight was John Williams Music night. There was the normal lineup of John Williams including Star Wars, Harry Potter, Indiana Jones, etc. But the Star Wars shown brilliantly at the end of the show.

The finale was the Throne Room from Episode IV: A New Hope. The evening was full of laser light and visual effects, but this selection added in fireworks! The FWSO CITG always has fireworks at the end of each performance, and we were wondering how it would look tonight. It was spectacular! The fireworks were synchronized to the music. I was floored! The music was beautiful, the lasers danced merrily in front of us, and in the skies above, the fireworks added to the music as extra percussion. What a wonderful way to start the weekend!

End Of One Year, Start Of Another

Today was my birthday. I now no longer have the option of using fancy math to say that I can still be technically considered in my twenties. I'm now 31. How did I celebrate? I went to my doctor for my six month postop checkup and worked a twelve hour day at the office. Nobody at work knew it was my birthday, but somehow I prefer it that way.

Still no word from the two churches I contacted. I may call them before the end of the week and do some person-to-person talking.

Looked At Four Churches, Contacted Two

Yesterday I looked at four churches online. I went to Google Maps, put in my street address then searched for church. Google returned ten results, and that jives with what I expected. There are a plethora of churches in my surrounding community, and many are less than ten minutes away. I just started going down the list and checking out websites.

I looked at the top five (read: closest) churches. That’s really all I had time to look at on my break at work. The first two did not list a singles group/class on their website, so I contacted them to see what they had to offer. The third church was the church I decided not to go to last Sunday, and after looking at their website, I’m pretty sure that’s a good decision for me. The fourth church looks like it’s a pretty small church. At the very least they have a pretty small website. The fifth church had a singles group listed. I didn’t contact them yesterday—they didn’t have a web form, just an email link. I think that’s the one I’ll try this Sunday.

For the two churches that did have web forms, this was the text I used:

Hi, my name is Joe. I'm a 30 year old single Christian in search of a church with a good singles program. Could you let me know what programs you offer?

Thanks.

That may be a little too simple, but we’ll see if it works. As of today, it hasn’t. Neither church I contacted responded, but it’s only been one day, and my experience in contacting churches is that they don’t respond quickly. My thinking is that I’ll only call a church if I’m really interested in what they have to offer, or if they appear really big and don’t supply a lot of info.

More to come as I get responses.

I Must Be A Masochist

I debated whether or not I should write about this church, but after today, I feel that I am safe in doing so.

Celebration Fellowship

1140 Morrison Drive

Fort Worth, TX 76120-3426

(817) 451-5513

www.celebrationnet.com

I went to this church for ten weeks earlier this year. I had intended to start this project earlier, but I was hoping that things would work out with this church, so I delayed. CF was recommended to me by a friend from the previous church I attended. He is on a similar quest to mine, save he is married.

CF has a strong speaker for a pastor. His message is clear, concise and understandable. It is not a sermon so much as a lesson. It is not an evangelical message, and the church does not seem set up to reach out to those who are unsaved. Rather it seems that the target audience for this church is those Christians who need further instruction.

Instruction is nice, but I went looking for a singles group. I found one, but it did not fit me. The people in there were ex-military, single parents, and one or two older types. I was by far the youngest person in the room, and I didn't really feel like hanging out with single parents, etc.

Things deteriorated over the ten weeks I stayed, and culminated in me leaving a bad review on the book written by the senior minister of the church. Heated emails were exchanged, and I left with bad feelings on both sides. I had intended that to be my last experience with the church, but I had borrowed a DVD from them, and I wanted to return it.

Granted I could have returned the DVD by mail, but I wanted to see how they would respond to me in person, so I returned it in person this afternoon. Over the course of the event, more heated words were exchanged, most of them directed at me, but after some real discussion, there seemed to be a realization that yes, I was right in my assertions, and yes, I was more or less thrown under a bus due to circumstances. I think we left on better terms than when I arrived, but I think there is still a gulf between me and CF.

Can I overcome that gulf? I don't know. Do I want to overcome that gulf? That's a question I don't have an answer to. I am in search of a compatible singles group, and today even the minister who runs their singles group came right out and said that I had nailed the group in my assessment, and chances are I wouldn't want to hang out with them. So for now, I think my search will not include CF. Will I return in the future? Only if God wills it.

My First Official Visit

New Bethel Assembly of God

6000 Collin Street

Arlington, TX 76018

817-265-2041

www.newbethel.us

This was my first official church visit of the project. I decided to start close to home for convenience sake. I first went to a church just up the street from where I live, but I could tell that it was not the church for me. Instead I turned down the road to a church I had seen before as I drove down the road next to the airport. I was later than I wanted to be, but fortunately they didn't start until 11:00am, and I was just in time to get in.

The first thing I noticed was that it is a fairly small church. The sanctuary can handle about 150-200 people. There were about 100 or less there this morning. The sanctuary has no pews, but the link-together chairs that are becoming popular in most modern churches. There are no hymnals in the sanctuary. Instead there is the standard projector and projector screen at the front of the church. The stage had no provision for a choir. There were only some guitars, drums, a keyboard, and the pulpit on the stage.

The service started slightly after 11am. The first part of the service was a standard worship team-led modern music affair. The congregation stands for the entire worship portion, which is a bit hard for me to do. (I don't stand still well for long periods of time, and I started walking in place to relieve the pain in my back and hips.) The songs were all modern--written in the last five or ten years. The congregation did a lot of hand raising and amen-ing, but no rolling in the aisles or speaking in tongues. I guess that makes it slightly charismatic.

About half an hour after the start, the preaching began. Unfortunately, it wouldn't stop. Some pastors have the gift of public speaking and preaching. This pastor isn't one of them. I listened to the minister drone on for 45 minutes. The best I can say is that he had random bits of advice in his sermon. I couldn't identify a central message, and there seemed to be no framework around which his sermon was based. When it was all over, there was no altar call, and the audience was summarily dismissed.

I was able to glean some other tidbits from my observations. The audience was an eclectic one--a mix of ages and skin colors, but unfortunately it looked to be comprised mostly of families. The pastor is 55 years old. There were two offerings (something I hadn't seen before). There are two services on Sundays at this church, one in the early morning and one at 11am. The also have what they call "Christian Education" in the evenings, but not today as today is Fathers' Day.

As far as the people go, I was not impressed. Nobody went out of their way to greet me. The ushers did greet me at the door and so forth, but that was about it. After the service I went over to their visitor table to inquire about a singles group, but I was ignored, and I left after waiting about five or ten minutes and seeing the person behind the table greet others. (It may be because I didn't fill out a green visitor card.) I wasn't all that interested in finding out if they had a singles group because I don't plan to return, but still, it would have been nice to be acknowledged.

Overall, I was not impressed by this church. There was no real message, and no real feeling of fellowship. I hope this won't be the norm for my visits, but only time will tell.

The Start of a New Project

In search of the single christian--what does that mean? Well, for me, it means trying to find a new church, a good singles group, and hopefully, my future wife. But why write about it?

The Problem

Most churches seem not to have good singles groups nowadays. There are a lot of churches, and a lot of people, buy why aren't there that many singles groups? I've got my suspicions, but I don't know for sure. The churches I have been to seem to treat singles as an afterthought. Often the singles group is formed as the last group, or the last class, of the church. But why is that a problem?

There are a lot of people in the United States, and a lot of churches to go around. But according to the Church of Christ website, over 40% of the US population is single for one reason or another. So while there are a lot of churches, they are geared for only 60% of the US population. That tends to leave a lot of people out.

Who Am I?

My name is Joe. I am 30 years old, single and a Christian. I have been working as a software engineer for the last seven years. I started actively looking for a church in early 2008 and found one, but without a singles group. The singles group has become especially important to me in the last six months, so I have started looking for a church that has a good, strong singles group with people about my age.

Why Am I Looking?

Simple. I got tired of being alone. In 2003 I moved from my hometown in West Texas to the DFW metroplex. I had a job and found an apartment, and for the next several years I thoroughly enjoyed the single life. Eventually, that changed.

It was a combination of things that led up to my decision to look. First, I lost a lot of weight, and am still loosing a lot. Second, I changed jobs and bought a house. But third, I got to the point where I realized something was missing from my life.

Two somethings, really: a church that wanted to culture relationships with people, and the person I am going to (hopefully) spend the rest of my life with. It seemed to me that the best place for one Christian to meet another would be at church in a singles group, so I started my search for a new church with a singles group where I have the chance to meet my wife. Will I? I don't know, but I have to try.

The Project

The only way to find a church with a singles group is to go and visit. I'll be visiting a lot of churches, no doubt some with singles groups and some without. I'll keep this page updated with my observations, my thoughts, and my experiences along the journey. I hope this won't turn into a Christian soap opera, and I'll try to keep any drama to a minimum. Wish my luck on this new embarkation!