Second Shift Blues

This second shift business is killing me! Due to the hardware situation at work I need to come in evenings and use the hardware to finish up my software. This time last week I decided to cut loose a couple of hours and go to the SWAG get together to see Monica. This week she said she wasn't going due to a hair appointment, and that works for me because I'm trying to punch a deadline for Friday.

Making that deadline is easier said than done. Last night I got home at about a quarter till three in the morning. I got about four hours of sleep before I had to go to a doctor's appointment. I couldn't go back to sleep, but I was definitely fatigued and fighting a headache. I made it through, working another eleven hours, before coming home to update all you guys reading this blog. (How many of there are you???) Tomorrow I'll get to try again, and hopefully I'll be done with second shift for awhile, but honestly, I'm not holding my breath. Wish me luck!

Next Church Selected

Ok, things don't always go according to plan, but sometimes that's what makes it fun. I had planned on doing some research on churches this week, but that was overcome by events. A friend of mine from my old job offered to have me do photography for her son's wedding. But before I get the gig, her son wants to meet with me to see some samples, talk over some details, and other prewedding photography details. Instead of trying to come up with a separate place to meet, we decided to meet at their church where they plan on getting married. This will let me kill two birds with one stone. I'll be able to look at a new church and find out about a potential gig and its venue. Hopefully it'll lead to something good.

Second Date Obtained!

Last night Monica and I were texting back and forth. I asked her if she'd like to either go to the range with me or go caching. She leaned towards caching on Sunday, but after consulting her and her friends' work schedules, she counter offered to have a little dinner and hang out Friday evening. That works for me! We're to meet at Mijo's after work on Friday. Can't wait!

7/11 Christianity

Sometime last year, my brother sprang a new phrase on me: 7/11 music. I asked him what 7/11 music was. The short definition, he said, is singing the same seven words eleven times. It’s a term he heard applied to the current modern music in churches.

I thought this to be a little disparaging, if accurate, and I also thought it was an isolated instance of the phrase. Until I heard it twice more. I was having lunch with one of our family friends, and she used the phrase 7/11 church. She described it the exact same way: seven words repeated eleven times. Then when I was at ERCC two Sundays ago, the pastor used the phrase and trumpeted it as a good thing. Is it?

I’m fairly indifferent to music in church, especially as I’m wary to sing anything. The reason for that is I believe that it if you make a promise, it doesn’t matter whether it’s spoken, unspoken, whispered, or sung, it’s still a promise, and I won’t make a promise unless I mean it. A lot of these so-called 7/11 songs are promises. I’ll give up my life for you, or something to that effect, is a fairly common refrain. Even more of them are just describing some aspect of God or Jesus. You conquered death was the refrain of one of the songs sung last Sunday in ERCC. But is it good or bad?

To be sure, I don’t know. One of the things 7/11 music will do is make it easier for people to remember and memorize it. That’s the very nature of memorization: repetition. If I say the same thing over and over, eventually it will ingrain itself into my mind. That’s why I still remember the Lord’s Prayer in Old English, most of the first 18 lines of the Canterbury Tales in Middle English, Oh Captain, My Captain, and bits and pieces of other Shakespearean plays. It’s the major way we teach children to memorize things like Bible verses and multiplication tables.

I’m all for memorizing multiplication tables. I use them every day. Where I think it becomes a problem is when it’s used as indoctrination or “brain washing.” Why? Just because I say something over and over again doesn’t make it true. That’s why I don’t sing: I want to make sure that what I’m singing, and potentially ingraining in my mind is true. This is the way that a lot of psychotherapists and self-help “experts” do things. Want to make yourself feel better? Just keep saying: I am valuable, I am valuable, I am valuable… until you actually believe it.

If there is a danger to singing like this, then why do churches sing these types of songs? The smart churches know that there is a perception that singing songs from a hymnal with traditional music is seen as stodgy and old school. Smart churches are trying to make themselves attractive to the younger crowd, and the younger crowd is used to the 7/11 music. And the prevailing school of thought is: if the audience likes 7/11 music, then let’s make sure the songs are “good” instead of bad.

But there is almost no thought in singing 7/11-style music. You can put the words on the screen, start the music, and watch people singing. Are they aware of what they are singing? I tend to think not, and in my mind, that’s the danger of 7/11 music. As I said before, it doesn’t matter how you make a promise once it’s made. With the understanding of how 7/11 music operates, I choose not to sing just to be safe.

Bad Decision Leads To Good Instruction

So where did I go to church today? ERCC. Why? I wanted to see if Jessica was there.

It was a bad decision, plain and simple. I wasn't thinking about church. I was thinking about my social life. Guess what? She wasn't even there! Gotta love karma. But it wasn't all bad.

The pastor talked about something that I had heard from another pastor earlier this year. What it all boils down to is: you can tell a Christian by how he lives his life. That's a gross oversimplification, especially because I know a bunch of good, nice people that aren't Christians, but the flip side is I know a bunch of crumbs that claim to be Christian.

The concept is this: I can claim to be a Christian, but if there isn't any evidence of Christianity in my life, then I'm either a liar or a hypocrite. There are plenty of people who claim to be Christians that aren't. Some are obvious, like Larry Flynt (publisher of Hustler magazine). Others are very hard to tell. That's the lying part.

The hypocrite part is the harder one to figure out, especially at church. When you're at church, you tend to act a certain way. It's how you act when your're NOT in church that really tells the story. There are exceptions, of course, but identifying a hypocrite takes a little more time. But I digress.

The upshot is this: if you really want to be a Christian, then it has to show in your life outside the church house. If you claim to be a Christian, and it doesn't show, then your integrity is rightly called into question. (Disclaimer: I'm just as guilty of this as everyone else, and my integrity has been called on more than one occasion.) This all goes back to John 15 and the part that says a good vine cannot produce bad fruit and vice versa, with the principle being that you can tell a Christian by the type of fruit he produces.

While the message was good, I must confess that I was disappointed, but not because I didn't see the girl I was interested in. I had thought about going to some of the small groups that the church is going to start shortly, but not after hearing them described. After the service the leaders of the small groups got up and did a one minute spiel about what they were going to do. Their advertising was less then stellar, and I really didn't hear about any subjects that I would be interested in.

Long story short, I should have trusted my instincts and gone to another church instead of chasing a non-existent relationship, but I did get a consolation prize. Hopefully next Sunday will be different.

Downshift Saturday

Wow! has it been a busy week! Doing second shift, going to the SWAG get together on Wednesday, and a date last night, and I'm wiped for today.

I had planned on going to a Pampered Chef party at my friend Sarina's house. I had even responded in the affirmative on her Facebook announcement. But I slept in too late, and once I got up, the laxative that my doctor had prescribed took effect. Long story short, I stayed in the bathroom while Pampered Chef took place. Ah well, I'll make the next one.

With my morning now shot, I just vegged around the house. There were no definite plans, just a sense that I have to do something about my lawn. Early in the afternoon Yizong called and asked if I'd go with him to buy yet another range finder camera. I said I would, got dressed, and went up to his apartment.

We left there and went to East Dallas to one of the seediest neighborhoods I've been to in quite some time. Yizong called me for a specific reason--he knows I carry a gun, and this is one of those neighborhoods that makes me glad I have one. Of course the problem is that Yizong never writes down exactly where we're going. (The last time we guessed at where we were supposed to meet the seller and got lucky.) We drove up and down the street a few times, growing more wary as we did so. Finally he called a mission abort, and we decided to go to the gun show for a little while.

This was the first time I went into a gun show and didn't spend more than a hundred dollars. Truth be told, I spent a grand total of five dollars on some beef jerky. Yizong tried to get me to buy a camouflaged tool bag as a purse for Monica, but I didn't really fancy the idea, so he ended up buying it for his wife. I saw a few things that were nice, but nothing I really wanted to buy--especially as I didn't have the money to buy anything much.

After we returned to Arlington I went down to Golfsmith, a big golfing store. I played with a bunch of putters, drove a few balls with a couple of drivers, and drooled over some of the high end equipment. I bought a few golf balls (one of my new weaknesses) and found a deal for a free glove to boot.

Academy Sports was next on my hit list, and I almost wish I hadn't gone. This weekend was tax free weekend, so everywhere was pretty much besieged by people trying to save a few cents (all that you really save on tax free weekend). I looked at their golf stuff, compared prices, and took a spin around the store before I went to Dick's Sporting Goods.

Dick's is a place I don't usually go to for two reasons: their prices are usually a bit higher, and they're in the mall. I avoid malls in general due to the crowds and the teeny bopper scene, but I wanted to see what they had in golf. I found several 5 woods, but they were lady's clubs, so I abandoned that search and went to the Knife Shoppe to have my pocket knife sharpened.

After the mall I took a spin to Target and Walmart to get some groceries and finish my exercising for the day. Groceries and a few goodies in hand, I bailed out and came home tired, but satisfied. Except that I wasn't done.

Even as I write this post, I still haven't figured out where I'll go to church tomorrow. I thought about going back to ERCC and see if Jessica goes, but if I do that, it will only be to see if I can connect with Jessica, which doesn't seem like a good enough reason. Besides, it's currently a captain-less vessel, and there are a lot of churches to go to. I may pick another one at random and go to it. Hopefully next week I'll have done some homework and find a church that advertises a singles group. But who knows... if things work out with Monica, I may not need a singles group any more. Stay tuned folks!

The First First Date

Finally, a day to downshift and relax. This second shift work schedule has really thrown me for a loop, and I had intended to go in to finish off my hours for this week, but I only got about one more hour before the activities of the day started. I had a massage in the afternoon, then retreated to the house for tonight's activity.

My friend Yizong called right before Monica came over. He wanted to make sure that I would dress appropriately for the event. I told him I would, but what we were doing tonight wasn't complicated or dressy, so I wore a work shirt, shorts, and tennis shoes. That's about what Monica had on, so it turned out to be a good call dressing wise.

Monica came over to my house about 5:30ish after fighting traffic. After a little discussion, we decided to catch dinner first. I took her to Marquez Bakery, a place very near the ball parks in Arlington. She and I both like Mexican, and Marquez Bakery makes really good food.

We got there about 6ish and looked around, deciding what to have for dinner. Monica was enthralled with the Pepsi in the recycled glass bottles from Mexico, and picked one of those our for her drink while I went for a simple bottle of water. We ordered, found a booth, and proceeded to talk until the place closed. We talked about travels, work, geocaching, and anything else that popped into our minds while we munched on chips and queso, and assorted other items.

Before we left Monica took advantage of the bakery part of the establishment. She got some cookies and a cake, and we picked up some chips to go with the leftover queso from dinner. (Important note: don't order a large queso from Marquez Bakery unless you MEAN it! It's huge!) With our purchases in hand and a good dinner digesting, we repaired to the house to start our Futurama night.

We really didn't talk that much after dinner or during Futurama. We were both full and just downshifted to watch Futurama. In all we took in all the new episodes that had just aired over the summer, and it was about midnight when we said good night, and she left for her apartment.

I had a great time, and as a date, I think it went successfully. I'm not sure if she's interested in me, but I'd definitely like to try for another date. Next Wednesday is another South West Arlington Geocacher get together, and we're both going to try to make it. Hopefully we'll get together and put together another date in the very near future.

The Stupid Things I Do to Increase My Chances

Working second shift is a drag. It's a drag because it is a lot more demanding time-wise than first shift, especially if you do your business/relaxing in the day and go to work at the end of the day like I do. Consequently it plays hell with evening social activities.

Last night was a prime example. I had not planned on going to the Wednesday night Geocachers get together at No Frills grill, but Monica, the girl I met last Friday, wanted me to come. She's coming to my house on Friday to take in the new Futuramas, so I guess it's a kind of date. Wanting (or hoping) to increase my chances of fostering the relationship, I elected to take off work, go to the get together, then stay ultra late to make up the time.

I had fun, but now I'm behind at work. Tonight is the last night of the week, and it'll be a long one. I hope it was worth it.

Shopping or Searching

Am I church shopping, or searching for the place God wants me? That's a question I have struggled with extensively as part of this project. It's a complicated answer with a lot of prickly issue to go with it. I have been accused of church shopping at least four times this year by a coworker, an acquaintance from my old church, one of my neighbors, and an online high school acquaintance. But am I?

From the way I write about the churches I go to, it can definitely be spun that I am church shopping. The concept of church shopping runs something like this: I don't like the church I'm going to for whatever reason, so I'll simply find another church that I do like. The key word in that statement is: LIKE. The typical scenario is that for some reason, or somehow, I no longer like the church I'm going to, so instead of working within the church or somehow trying to change (or accept) the issue, I leave and find a church that doesn't have the issue or somehow treats me differently.

So why should a person leave a church? There are very few reasons, but one of them, and the one that matters the most to me is: willfully disregarding the Bible or willfully doing wrong. What constitutes willfully doing wrong? Intentionally lying would be one example. But even that is not sufficient cause. It would have to be systematic, continuous, and, when pointed out or confronted, disregarded and ignored by the powers that be. Unfortunately those things do happen in churches. There are other scenarios that would qualify; the above was not mine.

When a person experiences the kind of situation I just described, it heightens the awareness of that person when reengaging in another scenario. In the case of looking for a church, and more specifically in my case, it means that the churches I visit are thoroughly examined before I would be willing to join. Some churches are easy to weed out of the mix because they exhibit bad behavior right up front. Others may be better at covering it up, but if it exists, it will come out.

There is a line from the movie Pollyanna: "When you look for the bad in mankind expecting to find it, you surely will." And that's the problem with a project like this. It is VERY easy once a person has been hurt to look for the bad in a situation. I hope that's not what I'm doing.

The sole criteria for finding a church should be: is this where God wants me? Unfortunately, it very rarely is. In my case, I believe that where God wants me involves certain things for certain reasons. One of those is: I believe I am supposed to get married. Why? It's due to I Corinthians 7:9. It says, "But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion." This part of I Cor. talks about being single, how Paul wishes we could all be single so that we could concentrate on serving God only. But this little clause was inserted for those of us who have issues being single. That being the case for me, I believe it is my duty to solve that self control issue as soon as possible. Obviously there's more to it than this, but this post isn't the place to go into it. Maybe some day later...

Church Review - Eden Road Community Church

Eden Road Community Church

7000 Matlock Rd.

Arlington, TX 76002

(817) 465-3500

www.edenroad.com

Ok, back to the project now that I'm home from Lubbock. Today I went to Eden Road Community Church. I have driven past this church several times on my way to Walmart and destinations down south. Several weeks ago I attempted to contact this church via email to get info on their singles group, if any. They never responded.

Not being one to write off a church for clerical issues (I've seen how some operate behind the scenes), I decided to give it a try this Sunday. ERCC offers two services each Sunday, and I went to the second service which starts at 10:45am. ERCC has two buildings apparent from the main road, but when I turned in to the parking lot, I saw three temporary/modular buildings behind the main buildings. They are in use as I saw some people going to them between the two services. I went to the main building for the worship service.

The main building is utilitarian and spartan. There are very few decorations, if any. I didn't notice any embellishments whatsoever. The interior was white with expose duct work and gymnasium-type halogen lights. The floor was plain linoleum, and I noticed that there were basketball court markings on it. Either this building was at one point a gym, or it is used or will be used as a gym in the future.

The main sanctuary is of the typical modern church type. It has linked chairs, no pews, a modular stage and sound booth, and the projector/screen combination. Well, it has a projector, but not a screen. The projector was simply displaying its fair on the wall. There was no choir. The stage had modern instruments: guitars, bass, keyboard, drums. Worship was conducted by a six member worship team, and the music was modern. There were hymnals under some of the seats in the sanctuary, but none of the music came from them. It was all projected on the wall, and all thoroughly modern.

Two songs into the service, and the minister stopped us and read Psalm 136 in its entirety. This was nice as it was a nice way to ground the song we had been singing. He referred to the concept of 7/11 music, although he didn't use that term. He pointed out that there are times that God does make repetitious statements, and Psalm 136 definitely shows that. While I thought that was a nice touch, I was slightly irked that there was some editorializing going on during the reading. I don't know how much of what the minister said was written in his Bible (in a different translation) and how much was added, but there were definitely some words that sounded added to me.

Two more songs later, and we were in the main service. For all the pastor's earlier editorializing, he had a good message, if a little unpolished. It wasn't stark, but it wasn't some bite-sized sound byte message, either. That was refreshing. He spoke on how families are supposed to operate according to Colossians 3:18-21. The upshot of the entire sermon was: everyone in a family is supposed to love and serve each other.

Once the message was over, the offering was taken. I put my calling card in the plate. There were a few more announcements, and then we were done. There was no altar call. I had anticipated this earlier as the bulletin made mention of a membership class, and the pastor had also announced the membership class earlier in the service.

After the service I talked with a few people. One was a girl called Jessica. Jessica is a med student who has recently moved to Fort Worth. She said that she had been coming here for about a month or so, and she really liked it. Jessica said that there were a lot of places to get plugged in, and that the people were nice.

I also talked with a couple of their members who seemed to be deacons or elders. From them I got the following:

• The membership of the church is about 300 strong
• There is currently no senior pastor
• The pastor this morning was the youth pastor
• There is no singles group

To add to the housekeeping, I noticed that the sanctuary could hold 200-300 bodies, so that jives with the membership number. I didn't see that many old people here. There were a bunch of couples a few children, and, by my estimate, only two or three singles including Jessica (no ring), but excluding me. The church is either actively seeking to expand or thinking about expanding as there is a "master plan" of drawings for an anticipated expansion of the facilities.

On leaving, I picked up a few brochures that the church had in the back. One was a history of the church, and it is fairly unremarkable save to say that this church has moved a couple of times, and they are not afraid to abandon buildings to relocate. One concerned worship, and I briefly scanned it to see if it contained any specifics about the church. It really didn't. Finally, I picked up a brochure on their small groups. This interests me as there are some topics coming up that interest me.

So where does ERCC fall on my list? To be sure, I'm not all that excited about joining a church without a pastor. That means that they are looking for one, and they have no clue where he'll lead, so membership for me is out of the question at this point. The small groups interest me, and I may try to go to one or two classes to see how they work out. Without a singles group my interest level drops, but the demographics aren't terrible. I'll put it on my may revisit list.

Temporarily Not Single

Yesterday I had planned to try to not be home as much as possible this weekend, but it's been a hard week, and I wasn't really in the mood to play games, so instead I just did the responsible host/homeowner routine today. I slept in way late due to the second shift madness and got up about an hour and a half before we were to meet my uncle and his family for lunch.

That lunch took a lot longer than I thought. We showed up at the restaurant at noon and didn't leave until nearly 3:30pm! The usual thing happened: My parents talked with my aunt and uncle while I talked with my cousin who is one year older than me (more or less). My uncle's family friend was also there, and she split her time about half and half in the conversations.

Heather, my cousin, and I talked about school, high school, the reunion I just got back from, church, TV, and anything else we could think of. It's nice to have that type of person who you can just talk to without having to do any kind of mental filtering. Both my and her parents embarrass us to some extent, and we were corralling them to a certain degree, but, with one exception, lunch went incredibly smooth (a nice change from the norm).

After lunch we all split up. Mother thought I was going home with them, but the fact that I drove my own vehicle and had told her numerous times I had other things to do along didn't seem to register with her. I checked my clock and noticed that the Pampered Chef party I had planned to go to was already over, except that it wasn't today! It's two weeks from today! (Thank God for iPhones and Facebook.) My afternoon having become uncomplicated I escaped to Academy Sports to talk to their golf guys for awhile (yes, I'm starting a new hobby, God help me!) and then came home while mother was asleep.

At home I finally hauled out the new fence slats and nails and repaired the fence between my house and the vacant house next door. (That's a long story for another time and another blog.) That work done I just hung around with my dad until mother woke up and started stirring the pot again. Dad and I have an adult-to-adult relationship where mother still treats me like I'm ten years old. So far it's been an amicable weekend with me copying daddy's CDs (he has great taste in music [or he's cloned it on me, whichever]) and getting the house in a little order.

Tomorrow may be a little more contentious as there is nothing to do but go to separate churches. Mother wants to go to "my church." Except that I don't have a church any more. So naturally she says that we'll all go to First Baptist Arlington. My response? Not a chance in Hell! This project is my own undertaking with my own goals. I honestly don't need mother interfering with it. Will I go to FBC Arlington? Maybe, but definitely by myself.

Downshifting and Hiding

This is one of those days where singleness is something to be desired. Today my parental units drove down from Lubbock to stay with me for the weekend. Being around my mother is always stressful, and I already saw her last week while I was up in Lubbock for the high school reunion. So my solution was to hide, at least for tonight.

There were just two little tricks to that: working second shift and going to one of my friend's Friday the 13th event. Working second shift turned out to not be a big deal due to the fact that 2nd shift starts after 12 noon, so working my hours around that was no big deal. (Finding the help I needed at work to get my tasks done, now that wasn't at all easy.) I worked until nearly 7pm, then I went to the Friday the 13th thing.

The Friday the 13th event is connected with another of my hobbies: geocaching. I have a long and sordid history with geocaching, and I quit actively caching months (if not years) ago, so I wasn't exactly looking forward to talking about caching for several hours tonight. But, seeing as how I was hiding, I decided to go and have as good a time as I could. That, and the event was organized by a single girl about my age, so not only could I hide, I also had a prospect!

I hid out at the event, well, dinner really, for a couple of hours. I saw a lot of friends from the geocaching community, and amazingly, we really didn't talk about caching all that much. There was a lot of talk about my weight loss and other personal things, which was exactly what I needed after a day of frustration and a weekend of stress. I talked at length with one lady who had had a bariatric surgery, and we compared notes. I saw one of my colleagues from work who had just gotten back tonight from a business trip. I talked with his wife for a little while to compare work notes. There were some door prizes, and even though I didn't win, it was nice just to be there in the atmosphere.

During the night, I talked with Monica, the single girl event organizer. I had met her before years ago at another geocaching event, and at the time she was engaged to a guy, so I really didn't get to know her that well. Now that she is a free agent again, I talked with her at length. It turns out we have a lot of the same interests, and we have a few divergent ones that could be fun to explore. She's 30, and I'm 31, so there is no problem with age differential. After dinner, when everybody else took off, we stayed and talked for another two and a half hours in the parking lot in front of the restaurant. It was a good, long conversation coving a lot of ground, and I think we might have connected somewhat. She likes Futurama, but hasn't seen any of the new episodes, so sometime this week I'll call her and invite her to see the new season that I have DVRed. This could be fun, folks! Stay tuned!

Working Second Shift

My chances of getting out and about have changed somewhat. For the next week or so I get to work second shift, which means going in to the office in the afternoon and staying until late at night. I'm thinking most people would be available to go out in the evenings, so that puts me out of that circle. But then again, chances are I wouldn't have gone out anyway.

Sorry for the short post tonight. I've got more interesting things to ponder, and they're coming soon.

A Comedy of Errors

There are times in this world where everything seems to click. Most of the time some things click, and some don't. Then there are times when nothing clicks into place at all. This is the case with Kathryn and me.

You may remember two or three Sundays ago Yizong brought his friend Kathryn over to my house to introduce us. The day didn't exactly go well as I was trying to play host to three people, made sure nobody blew themselves up, and watched out for a 1-year old. Three hours later, the 1-year old had her first scar courtesy of my cat, and Kathryn and Yizong had to leave. End result: we met, but only briefly.

Yizong tried again. Two Sundays ago he preached his ultimate sermon at RCC. He asked Kathryn and I to attend. We both came separately (why it didn't occur to any of us to have me pick Kathryn up is beyond me right now). I came; Kathryn was late and had her parents in tow, so there wasn't really time before the service for us to talk.

During the service, Kathryn asked me not to pass the communion paraphernalia to her (as she has not yet become a Christian). I knew that would produce controversy, but I did as I was asked. After the service there people more or less surrounded us. Kathryn and her parents were the curiosity, so everyone wanted to talk to her. I was the prodigal son, return to the pasture, so everyone wanted to talk to me. After we escaped, Kathryn said she had to run back to her apartment to make sure her rice cooker hadn't burned the place down. End result: no further progress.

SIDEBAR

Kathryn's refusal of communion impressed me deeply. There are plenty of people who would have taken the trays and shared communion whether or not they were Christian just to keep up appearances. Kathryn's refusal shows me that she respects our beliefs enough not to put up a charade and partake of something that, so far, means nothing to her. I wish all people were as honest and conscientious.

END SIDEBAR

As we were waiting for an appointment with a camera seller later that afternoon Yizong asked me if I got her phone number. I confessed I hadn't. Yizong was incredulous. He thought it should have been easy for me to get it after the second meeting. The catch is the circumstances just weren't right. How many guys ask for a girl's number under her parents' noses, in church, while trying to escape the mini mob surrounding us?

Moreover, Kathryn and I still haven't really met. We are both engineers (according to Yizong) and incredibly shy. Neither she nor I have any idea what we're doing in the dating scene. Yizong says he'll try again, but I don't know where it will go from here. If something happens it'll be an incredible stroke of luck. I'm about to start second shift work, so all my nights just became occupied, and neither she nor I still really know if the other is interested in pursuing any kind of friendship or relationship. Stay tuned folks, this could be interesting!

Back in Arlington, Wishing I WAS Alone

Ok, there are times that I do want to be alone. Or at least away from certain people. I had a good time at Trinity's high school reunion this weekend, but I was staying at the parental units' house. I love the parental units, but there is a reason I moved out--I value my space. This weekend mother has to come down for some medical tests, and, that's right, you guessed it, they're staying with me. Guess I won't have a weekend this time around.

Family Reunion and Weekend Wrap Up

Ok, last official day of the weekend, and it was as busy as each day during this little sojourn to Lubbock. First, I didn't go to church. I thought about it and even looked up a few to see if I could find a church that advertised a singles group, but I couldn't quickly find a website with the desired info, and combined with the fluctuating schedule, I decided to just pack in the church thing until next weekend.

Mother's family reunion was this Sunday, and I wasn't looking forward to it at all. But I went anyway, if for nothing else just to make a token appearance and reset the counter on years absent. I must say I was surprised by what I found. My cousin from Oregon that had a family emergency ended up losing her husband last night, so my sympathies go out to her. My cousins from Maryland were there, and it's always nice to talk to them. But over and above that, there were some pretty cute girls wandering about the room. Too bad they're all family, even if I don't know them. Long story short I grabbed a plate, had lunch, and sat with the Marylanders and talked with them until I had to punch out and get things together to go back to the metromess.

Before I could do that, I had to make a stop at the house of the parents of my friend Casey. They wanted to see both me and our other friend from Allen, but she punched out yesterday, so I was all there was. C and I went by and talked for about a half hour until I returned to the parental units' house and packed my gear to go back to Arlington.

Packing wasn't as big a deal this time as Thursday, but I think that's because I was less hurried and it wasn't as hot. I got all my junk in and, after a couple of errands, I hit the road and made it back to Arlington. Right now I'm trying to get all my stuff sorted from the weekend and get pictures posted. Tomorrow I still have off, so I might just veg.

TCS All Class Reunion - Day 3

Today was the final day of the TCS All Class reunion. It had one event, a family picnic out at Legacy Play Village. It was simply a time for alumni, spouses and children to have one last hurrah for the weekend. There was a party pack of shaved ice from Bahama Bucks (a local delicacy) as an added treat. Families came, and while some took advantage of the playground, most stayed in the relative shade of the pavilion to introduce children and spouses.

As photographer I moved around between the two venues, but it was fun all the same. I got to talk to several people I hadn't seen in over fifteen years. I think we all had some fun (I did), but heat and children (especially young ones) don't mix for long, and within a couple of hours we all said our goodbyes and went our separate ways for the next five years. (That's when the next reunion will be.)

The rest of the day was spent having lunch with some old classmates, having a Starbucks, and running an errand before I went up to Plainview to see my brother and his wife. We talked over some important things, some not so important things, grabbed a bite for dinner, and took in a movie. We rented Full Metal Jacket watched it until I had to leave, once again late at night/early next morning.

Tomorrow is the family reunion. I am dreading it as the one person I really wanted to see will not be there yet again. (It's not her fault; it's a family emergency.) I plan to leave early and beat it for home so that I can figure out how to get back into the stream next week.

TCS All Class Reunion - Day 2

What a day!

I didn't sleep well last night. I may have reinjured a hernia, and the pain was keeping me up all night. I finally drifted off to sleep sometime in the morning, and when my alarm went off, I shut it off and went back to sleep. I ultimately got up at about 9am, and went for a walk (like I didn't do yesterday). During my walk, I got a call from one of my teachers. He cancelled out on shooting with us this afternoon. Of the three that I was going to take, only one ended up going.

I got back to the house and packed up all my shooting gear and went up to the school. We went to the range and had a complete blast! There is an outdoor range near Slaton called Rustic Range. It's a really nice facility located off a dirt road in a little canyon. It has a nice shop, some reloading supplies, a lot of lanes and target stands, and, most importantly, you can back your vehicle up to your stand.

That's exactly what we did considering the amount of gear I had in my truck bed. We spent the next three hours going through a ton of old battlefield rifles. After awhile we switched to pistols. Three hours later we were hot, tired, but thorougly satisfied at the amount of paper we had killed.

We retired back to town, and me to the house. I had about an hour and a half to shower, cool off and get ready for tonight. The festivities tonight were semiformal, so I had packed some trousers and a shirt. The real trick was going to be shooting pictures in all that getup. I finally left the house at about six and got to the school to set up for portraits.

The portraits didn't quite go as planned (actually, they didn't go at all), but that's a minor thing. There were more people there tonight than last night, and I saw a bunch of people that I hadn't seen for years. We went through teacher recognitions, future plans for the school, the alumni association, etc. all while having a nice dinner. I got a lot of good pictures, so hopefully that will set up some future business for me.

I'm not doing this post any justice, but it's another case of getting home late. I'll have more thoughts during the week next week.

TCS All Class Reunion - Day One

It's late. About 1am according to the clock on the computer that I'm typing on right now, but the date will still probably show as yesterday on the posting, which is what I intend. The lateness of the hour (or earliness, if you prefer) is a good indicator of the kind of time I'm having.

This morning wasn't all that wonderful. Packing never is. I woke up later than I would have liked, bussed myself, my cameras, studio, rifles, pistols, ammo, luggage, and various other assorted items to my truck to bring back to Lubbock with me. Instead of leaving the metromess at 10am like I would have liked, I left my house at 11 and had to make a few errands before I could ultimately leave. That happened at noon.

The drive back was pleasant once I had everything sorted and put in its place. I didn't stop once I finally got going. It was nice to listen to a complete audio book without having to change discs (thank you iPhone!). I got to the parents' house in the late afternoon and disgorged my truck of its cargo into the house. The parental units and I did the family thing until it was time to go up to the school to register for the weekend.

Registration was the normal thing, but just standing around and seeing some of my classmates from thirteen years ago was wonderful! We hugged, talked, got to see who had changed (and who hadn't). Right up until the first event of the weekend.

Road Rally school was first on the agenda. It was nice to see Mrs. Garrett (the English teacher extraordinaire) assume her old role and brief us on the dos and don'ts of the road rally. I remembered some of it, but not all. Of course I was flitting about the room, taking lots of pictures (as I somehow became the official photographer this weekend). Some of us had done a rally before, some hadn't. In my case I had done one, but we never finished it. Half an hour of briefings later, and we were all assigned to our respective vehicles.

There were only two in my truck: me, and my friend Casey. We were originally car 13, but somehow moved up to car 10. (I like that as I'm not a big fan of the number 13.) At our appointed time we received our instructions and struck out for the rally. There were a few places where we stumbled, but we made it through and finished! That brings my record to 1 for 2 completing road rallies.

After the rally, some of us went to Applebee's to talk and reminisce. It was interesting. Of the eight of us that were there, only two did a lot of talking. The rest of us just kind of sat there and enjoyed. Occasionally one of us would interject something, but we talked past midnight until we were all yawning and just about to fall asleep.

It was a great start to what I hope is a great weekend. There is a lot more I haven't written about, but I'm tired, so I'm going to sign off and put some more thoughts into a later post.

Church Review - Ridglea Christian Church

Ridglea Christian Church
6720 W. Elizabeth Ln
Fort Worth, TX 76116
(817) 738-0612
www.ridgleachristian.org

Ok, I’m going to cheat in two ways tonight. First, I normally do church reviews on Sundays. I went to RCC this Sunday, but I had better things to write about until tonight. Second, this is the church that I attended for two years until February of this year, so I have intimate knowledge of the church. I’m going to try to limit my observations, but forgive me if a little bias slips in.

RCC is an old church and a small church. It’s old in that most of the people that attend are age 50 or older, and it’s old in the way it conducts itself. More about that later. It’s small in that each Sunday it has about 100ish people show up for the service and about 60ish for Sunday school. This is all published in RCC’s weekly newsletter.

RCC is small. The sanctuary is designed to fit about 400-500 bodies, but only about 80-90 show up each Sunday for the service. It has a choir, and the choir as well as the church staff are included in the attendance numbers. RCC used to be a lot larger than it is, even offering weekday school classes at one point. But time, a church split, and neglect have decimated both the church and the congregation.

RCC is old in the way it conducts itself. Everything about the church is traditional. The music is traditional, straight out of the hymnal. There are no instruments in the sanctuary other than the piano and the organ, although occasionally (read once or twice a year) there will be some more modern music done by people who bring their own instruments. The service follows a set pattern: A liturgist reads the announcements and starts the service. There is music, a choral introit, then the choir, minister and elders process into the sanctuary. The liturgist then does a responsive reading with the audience. There is another hymn followed by the children’s moment. The minister then does prayer requests and praises followed by the ministerial prayer. This is followed by a stewardship meditation, tithing, singing the doxology, having communion, saying the Lord’s prayer, more music, the sermon, the altar call (which is a standard call), one last hymn then the recessional. There is little or no variation whatsoever in the service.

The sanctuary itself has no projector or screen. It has the liturgist’s lectern on the right side, the pulpit on the left, both raised off the stage. The elders sit behind the altar doing the offering and communion. Each pew (yes, there are pews and not chairs) has six hymnals and two Bibles in the racks on the back of them. It is in all respects the stereotypical traditional church.

Unfortunately this tradition is carried over to the singles group, which is to say RCC doesn’t have a singles group. But here’s the kicker—they claim that they DO have a singles group. It is composed of anyone who is just out of high school to just out of college. I was placed in it felt absolutely out of place. I was easily the oldest person in that group by five years or more. Everyone in it was still in college or had just graduated and had what I term the “college mindset.” I was the only one started down the career path. This got old, and I left the group for some time until a new minister was hired. I hoped he would put new life in the group, so I started to go for a new more months, but after talking with him several times he made it abundantly clear that he had no intention of trying to start a singles group like I was looking for for several years until everything else was well in hand. That was the start of my break with this church, and over the next few months following this discussion circumstances made it quite easy for me to leave.

Long story short, RCC is not a place you want to go to for a singles group or for anything unless you want to work and be valued for ONLY your work for the church. If you expect anything else, you will be sorely disappointed.

So why did I go back? My friend Yizong was delivering his ultimate sermon at this church, and his friend who I met two Sundays ago was there. He’s trying to set us up, but we’re both dense. More about that later.

Mickey and Julie Got Married

Last Saturday, July 31, my friend Mickey got married to his fiance Julie. How it happened is a little vague to me. I met Mickey when we both worked for Lockheed Martin. Truth be told he didn't seem the marrying type to me. He had an occasional girlfriend off and on, but nothing really strong.

That is until a year or so ago. He met Julie through eHarmony. (Ok, I guess eHarmony works for some people.) They seemed to work together really well. One thing led to another, and eventually they moved in together, bought a house, and he proposed. It all came to a marriage three days ago.

Julie's family is Catholic. (I don't know if Julie is practicing or not.) They got married in the Good Shepherd Catholic Community Church. While this isn't a church review, let me share my observations nonetheless.

Good Shepherd Catholic Community Church
1000 Tinker Road
Colleyville, TX 76034
(817) 416-4267
gscc.net

The church is fairly large. The main auditorium could easily seat 1000 by my estimate. In the middle of the main auditorium is the altar, pulpit, lectern, and baptismal font. The main auditorium itself is very light and airy. There are a lot of sidelights, and one side of it has large picture windows that open onto a courtyard. There is a beautifully carved crucifix at the altar. All in all it is a very beautiful auditorium.

SIDEBAR

I'm not using the term sanctuary because in Catholic terms there are apparently two areas in an auditorium: the assembly and the sanctuary. The sanctuary is where the priests, choir, and other church personnel are situated. The assembly is where the audience sits. I make this point because I made the mistake of commenting on the beauty to one of the deacons of the church, and he explained the differences to me.

END SIDEBAR

There is apparently a very large choir to go with this church. The choir area takes up approximately 25% of the auditorium. We did not do any singing, so I don't know what kind of music to expect, but there were hymnals (paperback and current to this year), an organ, and what looked like an orchestra area. While there were hymnals, there were two retractable screens with projectors cleverly hidden behind two of the pillars in the building. It takes a lot to impress me about architecture, symmetry and clean lines, and I was impressed!

As to the wedding itself, it was a fairly standard wedding, but also a fairly traditional wedding. A cross was carried in at the head of the processional. (I'm wondering if this is a Catholic thing as I've seen it done in every Catholic service I've seen.) There was no censor being carried in. The processional was otherwise normal save that the priest was also in the processional as opposed to standing at the front, or center in this case. There was a lot of scripture reading and responsive reading. Mickey and Julie took their vows simultaneously, which I thought was a nice touch. They then did their promises and exchange of rings. During the homily, everyone sat down. In my opinion this should be a rule in weddings as it gives everyone a chance to rest a bit, and this was especially important in this wedding as the air conditioning did not kick in until the very last of the photographs were being taken.

When all the pictures were done, the reception started, and I was completely unprepared for it. I had talked with Mickey off and on this last year, and I heard a lot of the stories of the preparations that were going on for the wedding, but not a lot about the reception. I was expecting the standard hour-long cake and finger foods thing, but Mickey and Julie went all out! There was a DJ, dancing, hors d'oeuvres, nametags for place settings, party favors, the whole smash! The food was excellent as was the entertainment. I stayed through the first dance, food, toasts, and dances with the parents. At that point it was late, and I was getting depressed (as I always do at weddings not my own), and left.

All in all it was a good night. I took a lot of notes from the wedding concerning the church and photography--it turns out that I do all the same things as Mark, Mickey's and Julie's photographer. (I felt pretty good about that.) The food was good, and I got to see two friends get married. I just hope my day isn't too far down the road.

Nice Guys Finish Last

Do nice guys really finish last? I hope not, as I seem to fall into the category of a “nice guy.” I wish I were tooting my own horn here, but in the relationships I’ve had that lasted any amount of time (a grand total of two and a half by my count), I was the nice guy, and the girl had no interest in me beyond friendship.

Why have I been thinking about this? Well, my friend Lacey and her longtime boyfriend Coleman broke up last week. (Lacey is the downstairs neighbor I wrote about.) I’ve been texting Lacey back and forth this week, and she tells me that she and Coleman are working things out and getting back together. I said that I was glad to hear that.

Almost as soon as this breakup happened, I was conflicted. I’ve always been attracted to Lacey. She’s beautiful, very nice, and not judgmental. She had no problem talking with me, a complete stranger, when we were neighbors. We talked often, and I had aspirations of dating until, as is my lot, I found out she already had a boyfriend. So when this breakup happened, on some levels I was hoping they wouldn’t get back together because then I might have a chance.

But I did what I always do. I became the strong-as-a-rock type; the one you come to for support. Which is exactly what I offered. So when I said I was glad they were getting back together, I felt like a liar. On some levels it probably was a lie—my chances were once again zero. (Maybe they always were.) The problem is I can only be what I am, which is, sometimes to my detriment, a nice guy.

That nice guy persona of mine has led me down the primrose path twice. The first time I fooled myself into believing I had a relationship with a girl in school, but it turned out she was only leading me on for help with homework. The second time the girl was genuinely interested in me, but she only wanted me as a friend. I got to the point where I was deeply, madly in love with her, but she wasn’t with me. It destroyed my whole concept of dating and relationships, and to this day I say with a straight face that I’ve never been on a date because she told me that we never dated—we were just friends.

So here I am. Someone that has been labeled a nice guy who has finished on the short end of two relationships. (The half relationship doesn’t really count.) Will I continue to finish last? Only time will tell…

Wedding Already Planned, Just Needs Groom

Wow! I thought I was nuts for starting this blog and writing about looking for my significant other. (Who knows, maybe I am.) But one woman has me beat!

Her name is Lisa Linehan. After she attended a wedding last winter, she decided that she was tired of being alone, and she wanted to get married. Lisa took her project a few steps further than I did. She has already planned her wedding. She's got the date, time, dress, venue and reception already planned out for next February! Like I said before, wow! (CNN did an interview with her, linked here.)

I really admire people who put those kinds of deadlines on themselves. It reminds me a little of the Julie/Julia project when Julie Powell cooked her way through Julia Child's Mastering the Art of French Cooking in a year. I think the stakes are a little higher this time around.

Lisa has a Facebook page, a website, and a Twitter site set up. She is actively looking, and I mean ACTIVELY looking. I'm looking, but not nearly as aggressively as she is. (I'm quite a bit shyer than she is.) Still, I think it's pretty cool that she's taken her search to the next level. I hope she and I are both successful!

(In case anyone is interested, I did email her and let her know about this blog.)