Nice Guys Finish Last

Do nice guys really finish last? I hope not, as I seem to fall into the category of a “nice guy.” I wish I were tooting my own horn here, but in the relationships I’ve had that lasted any amount of time (a grand total of two and a half by my count), I was the nice guy, and the girl had no interest in me beyond friendship.

Why have I been thinking about this? Well, my friend Lacey and her longtime boyfriend Coleman broke up last week. (Lacey is the downstairs neighbor I wrote about.) I’ve been texting Lacey back and forth this week, and she tells me that she and Coleman are working things out and getting back together. I said that I was glad to hear that.

Almost as soon as this breakup happened, I was conflicted. I’ve always been attracted to Lacey. She’s beautiful, very nice, and not judgmental. She had no problem talking with me, a complete stranger, when we were neighbors. We talked often, and I had aspirations of dating until, as is my lot, I found out she already had a boyfriend. So when this breakup happened, on some levels I was hoping they wouldn’t get back together because then I might have a chance.

But I did what I always do. I became the strong-as-a-rock type; the one you come to for support. Which is exactly what I offered. So when I said I was glad they were getting back together, I felt like a liar. On some levels it probably was a lie—my chances were once again zero. (Maybe they always were.) The problem is I can only be what I am, which is, sometimes to my detriment, a nice guy.

That nice guy persona of mine has led me down the primrose path twice. The first time I fooled myself into believing I had a relationship with a girl in school, but it turned out she was only leading me on for help with homework. The second time the girl was genuinely interested in me, but she only wanted me as a friend. I got to the point where I was deeply, madly in love with her, but she wasn’t with me. It destroyed my whole concept of dating and relationships, and to this day I say with a straight face that I’ve never been on a date because she told me that we never dated—we were just friends.

So here I am. Someone that has been labeled a nice guy who has finished on the short end of two relationships. (The half relationship doesn’t really count.) Will I continue to finish last? Only time will tell…