Enduring Heartbreak

Today was one of the most heartbreaking days I think I've spent in quite some time. It was instructive, had new experiences, and turned out one of the worst results a person could possibly look forward to.

Herman and Jennifer went to court today to try to wrest custody of Herman's children from his first marriage from his wife. I went as their friend and supporter. I've been working with them all week, preparing their house for their kids. It's been a long week, and the anticipation was quite high. H and J's lawyer all but assured them victory in court, so I'm told. So confident are they of getting their children that they remodeled five out of six rooms of the upstairs of their house. It started last weekend with three days of solid work, and continued with work every night throughout the week to get their house ready. I went up last weekend and stayed with them a couple of days to help move furniture, paint and clean. Later in the week I spent two more nights up with them getting the last of the work done. Thursday night we finished. We were tired, but happy, and looking forward to Friday.

We woke up early on Friday and dressed in our good clothes for court. We picked up some pictures that H and J planned on using for court and proceeded to their lawyer's office. This was the first time I'd every been to a law office. Having seen lots of movies and TV shows, I was thinking the offices would be posh, maybe even luxurious. But, as is usually the case, reality is often much less glamorous. The offices were in a sort of strip mall, and the offices themselves were functional, yet very spartan. We were shown into an assistant's office where we had a pre-hearing discussion. We were shortly called over to the courthouse for the hearing.

We crossed the street to the courthouse, and I was turned away at the metal detectors. Apparently multi-tools and pocket knives are evil and disallowed in court. I love the way society feels that one weapon is any worse than another. It makes me feel like I live in the UK. But, to be expedient, I recrossed the street, handed over my tools to the assistant, and reentered the courthouse. Security was no problem this time, and I made my way to the elevator.

To say the next hour was bizarre doesn't do it justice. When I went up the elevator, I was sharing it with Herman's ex-wife, the respondent in today's case. That felt ultra-weird. After we emerged, they went one way and I went the other. (I wonder if they recognized me. I'm almost sure they did.) Down the hall were Herman, Jen, and their lawyer. The lawyer behaved very much like what I expected. Not quite what I saw on TV, but fairly close. After some last minute discussion and prep work, we entered the courtroom.

The courtroom itself was modern. There were three or four rows of what amounted to church pews without the holders for hymnals. The room was nicely decorated. The judge sat in the right-hand corner of the room as you face the courtroom. Each table had a microphone. The court reporter sat to the judge's right. The witness box was on the left of the judge and had a microphone also. To the left of the witness box was the bailiff. There were computer monitors in front of the judge, the court reporter, and the bailiff. The bailiff was wearing a brown shirt, dark pants, and was carrying what appeared to be a 1911 on his right side. The judge was woman, and was wearing the traditional black robe, exactly as expected.

What I didn't expect was the apparent looseness of the docket schedule. I didn't hear our case called. That's because it was called as soon as the previous case had finished. We were scheduled at 11am, but we were good to go as soon as the lawyers had set up. Our side set up and was ready first. The judge asked if the respondent had been notified as they were not there. They had, they were just running half a minute late. Our lawyer conferred with the ex-wife's lawyer for a time, then we were off and running.

Over the next half hour, I saw what had been acted out on TV hundreds of times. Lawyers called witnesses. Questions were asked. Testimony was given. The only thing I didn't expect was how witnesses would be sworn in. All witnesses were asked by the judge to rise and raise their right hands, and then she swore them all in at the same time. After the swearing, each was instructed to come forward and give their names to the court reporter. That done, the judge instructed all witnesses to leave the courtroom and wait until called. I was not a witness, so I could observe the entire proceeding. First Herman was called. Then Jennifer. Then we rested. Then the ex-wife was called. Finally, her lawyer testified as to what his expenses were. I don't feel it my duty or privilege to rehash everything that was said. The upshots were: the custody agreement was not changed, the ex-wife was instructed not to smoke around her kids, the place to exchange the kids was changed to a "more neutral" location, and Herman and Jen were instructed to pay the ex-wife's lawyer's expenses. Jennifer was fighting back tears in the courtroom. Herman was thunderstruck--a look of total, uncomprehending shock on his face.

Our lawyer was certainly not expecting the outcome. Once we were clear of the court, he said as much. He offered what advice he could under the circumstances, but whether any of it was heard or understood is something I'm not sure of. We just sat in the car in the law office parking lot for a time after the lawyer bade is farewell. Jennifer was sobbing. Herman was upset and trying to think of anything he could do to reverse the course of events. I sat in the back seat, teary-eyed, but trying to be strong. Finally, after having made a few phone calls, we proceeded on our way, shaken and uncertain of what to do.

After some consultations, all I could do was take them to lunch then return to base. Nobody had eaten anything at all up to this point in the day, and it was nearly half past two in the afternoon when we finally took a moment to eat. H and J were absolutely beside themselves with worry and rage, grasping at any stray or crazy idea that presented itself. H's mother and her husband came, but all that happened was more pot-stirring. We left the restaurant emotionally drained and exhausted and drove quietly back to H and J's house in Roanoke. They promptly passed out for a few blessed minutes before they were to pick up their kids, and I did some reflecting.

What am I getting myself into, I wondered. Finding my significant other, my wife, has been a priority for some time now. I want it to be the right person: the one I'll spend the rest of my life with. This experience upped the pressure on me to get it right. I don't ever want to have to go through this. To lose my kids and have to fight for them. To see my kids stripped away from me by some stranger in a black robe. To be told I can only do certain things certain way and only on certain days by an impersonal, cold legal system. What am I getting myself into?

A Dish Fit For Judith Jones

Ok, last post from last weekend. This one covers cooking dinner. I had been planning on trying Boeuf Bourguignon for some time. I confess, it was because I wanted to see if I could cook it like it was cooked in the movie Julie & Julia. It was a true experience! One that I will savor for a long time!

Truth be told, the length of time it took to properly prepare this dish is one of the things that I found exhilarating, instructive, and inconvenient all at the same time. This dish doesn't start with cooking. It starts by finding all the appropriate ingredients. I'm happy to say that I was able to find everything I needed for this dish from Walmart. From the chuck roast to the beef stock to the shallots and pearl onions, Walmart had it all. I hope that's a portent of things to come as I continue to explore Mastering the Art of French Cooking.

One thing I hope does improve is the cost. The total cost of cooking boeuf bourguignon is nearly prohibitive. I think I spent nearly $50 in ingredients. I ended up buying two chuck roasts to get the 3 lbs. of beef I needed. Then there was the wine, the vegetables, the spices, the broth, and one or two non-food items. Now, to be fair, some of that stuff I'll be able to use over and over like bay leaves and thyme, but at $2.50 a bottle for spices it was still expensive. I'm not even counting my lovely, new french oven, which was over $70 by itself, but it was completely worth it!

And so was cooking this dish. All the time, the money, the experience... Let me talk about the time a little bit more. Once I had all the ingredients in hand, it was about a five hour process. The first thing I had to do was clean the roast. Initially I had a three and a half pound chuck roast, but it had a bunch of junk that had to be cut off. My first chuck roast ended up being two and a half pounds. Bummer. I had to buy a new one to get the last bit of meat I needed, and of course I only needed about half a pound. Cleaning the roasts took a little time. All the white connective tissue and fat had to be removed. It would have ruined the stew otherwise. That took about half an hour to 45 minutes. I cleaned one before I went to church and subsequently to Roanoke.

Herein was the stumbling block to our glorious concoction. At this point in the timeline, I needed about four and three quarters more hours to finish. I should have opted to cook immediately instead of taking time to go shooting. As it was we took an hour and a half to indoctrinate H3 into the gun culture (which we did marvelously), so we didn't get cooking until 4:30 in the afternoon. Dinner occurred at 8:45 that night.

The next nearly five hours were glorious. I had at my disposal some of the best cookware made, superb ingredients, and some good assisting. I was moving around the kitchen, slicing vegetables, sauteing meat and vegetables, cutting, braising, slicing, in short cooking. Real cooking. A real dish. Jen, Misty, and eventually Herman peeled my pearl onions. That would have taken forever to do, so I'm glad they could do that. I made the lardons and sauteed the beef while they did that. Once the beef was done I sliced up the vegetables. It's amazing how just slanting a carrot by 45 degrees can make it look ten times better than just plain old boring roundels. I sauteed all that then roasted the beef in the oven a little. Having done that, I put in the wine and the beef stock.

Oh! What a smell there was in the kitchen when I put that wine in. The recipe calls for three cups. I put in a whole bottle, which is slightly over three cups. I must say, at this point, I was kinda questioning Julia. I've had wine before, and the thought of having a whole bottle in this dish was staggering. I think it was the smell that really made me question it. To say that it smelled winey doesn't do it justice. I could just imagine taking a bite and tasting nothing but wine--not my idea of a good dish. But, this is a place where a little faith in Julia is called for, so I pressed forward.

I might mention that it was at this point in the recipe that I made a little mistake. I put the wine and beef stock in the french oven, and put the whole thing in the oven. Trick is, I didn't put the vegetables in. I should have. The reason I didn't is because I failed to realize that Julia didn't specify using a skillet in this recipe. Everything was to be cooked in the french oven. I wasn't doing that, and I missed that step. As a result, our vegetables were al dente and not cooked all that well.

The rest of it was well cooked. Once the meat was simmering away in the oven (for two and a half hours) I did the supporting recipes. Boeuf Bourguignon calls for two supporting recipes in Mastering: sauteed mushrooms and pearl onions brown braised in beef stock. The mushrooms were easy enough. A little olive oil and butter, and they sauteed up in about ten minutes. I served a few to my waiting eaters to curb appetites. They were well received except by poor Jen (she doesn't like mushrooms). I set those aside and did the pearl onions next. All I can say about those is, oh, dear God! I sauteed them for ten minutes, then simmered them for forty minutes in beef stock. When they were done, they literally melted in your mouth! I couldn't wait for it all to come together.

But, waiting was all we could do at this point. I had all the vegetables done and ready to go, but the beef was still cooking in the oven. It was about another hour and a half before everything came together. Misty had to leave and put her baby to bed. Really wish she could have stayed, but we all knew Jacob had to go to sleep. We had hoped that Herman's kids could have stayed for dinner, but we kept having delays, and H's ex wouldn't hear of waiting for her kids. H and J ended up pulling out some pizza rolls and green beans to feed the kids quickly. They left about fifteen minutes before our stew was done.

Down to the three of us now, I pulled the stew out of the oven and simmered the sauce down a little. We were all anticipating the stew--it smelled like a little piece of heaven! When it came out and I was simmering it, I didn't detect any but a faint hint of wine. And once all the vegetables were put in, there was absolutely no problem whatsoever. We couldn't wait to eat!

And eat we did! Everything about that dish was wonderful! The meat was falling-apart tender. The pearl onions were delectable. The broth was a wonderful beefy-hint-of-winey flavor, and even though the vegetables weren't all the way done, they were still good. Jen liked it so much she was even eating the mushrooms, even though she can't usually stand them! At this point I should know never to doubt Julia. She was right about the biscuits I did, and she was right about this dish. Julia Child spent over eight years writing this book, and it's a tribute to her that dunderheads like me can make a dish as awesome as this! Thanks, Julia!