The Nurse Has Been Discharged

Tonight probably marks the end of my duties as nurse to Monica. We were going to go to my house this morning so that I could do some yard work, but Herman and Jen called and offered to let us hang with them. After some discussion, we decided that Monica should go with Herman and Jen in the morning, and I would go do my yard work and meet up with them later. One thing led to another, and plans transformed from just hanging to breakfast to a meet up at Mijo's, one of Monica's favorite restaurants.

I met up with Monica and company there for lunch and ate a lot more than I should have. Afterwards they split for Roanoke, and I came back to my house. I mowed my back yard and trimmed my hedges. Weedeating didn't quite work because my weedeater was FUBARed. (I really have to train my neighbor's kid how to do yard work properly.) It was the late afternoon before I left my house for Roanoke.

At Herman and Jen's house, we were just hanging about waiting for a movie that we would never see when a traveling art gallery happened by. Apparently, at certain times, companies will sell the art from model homes at a greatly reduced price to people who have bought homes in a new housing project, and one of those happened by us tonight. Herman and Jen bought some. Monica bought a couple. I thought about buying some, but Monica didn't like the two I picked out first, and on further consideration of finances I opted not to buy anything.

After moving a TV and hanging some pictures, the rest of the evening saw us go to Chili's for dinner then return back to Herman and Jen's for a little conversation before we broke up for the night. I took Monica home, and she let me know that she wanted to spend tonight by herself. She needs some space, and I completely understand. We're at the beginning of a relationship and all of a sudden I'm with her every night due to her operation. Monica is to the point where she's ready to resume her normal life activities, and truth be told, so am I. I gathered up all my junk and beat it for home.

Dash is happy to see me, and I'm ready for a night in my own bed again.

Back to a Routine, Sorta

Yesterday I took Monica to the hospital for her gallbladder operation. The worst part of it for me was waiting. I have often been the one in the bed or on the gurney, but this was the first time I was the family/responsible party waiting in the waiting room. The surgery lasted about an hour, and Monica was in recovery for about two hours.

The worst part of it for Monica was waking up from surgery. It's also the worst part of it for me. When you first come out of that anesthesia-induced sleep your body is very relaxed, and your nerves are extra sensitized. It has the effect of making the incisions and whatever they did inside you hurt a lot more than normal. It took a little bit, but I got Monica back home.

Thereafter I turned into a nurse. I'm getting the food, the drinks, the blankets, whatever she needs. Some guys would find that a drag. I, on the other hand, like having someone to take care of. Monica has never had someone to take care of her (except maybe her parents). She's a little uncomfortable having someone doing the day-to-day activities around her apartment, but with a surgical drain hanging out of one of the incisions, she really doesn't get a choice.

I ran out of choices on going to work today. Yesterday I took all day off to be with her for surgery and the first day after. My return to work today was, thankfully, unnoticed and produced zero interest. I got back into the swing of things fairly easily, but I must admit, I'd rather be playing nurse.

After work I had to do a few things around my house, and I got in dutch when I was late getting back to Monica. My bills took longer than I thought to pay, and I was late leaving. Unbeknownst to me, Monica was waiting to take her pain pill until I came back with food. I felt like a heel when I finally did make it in. After some dinner Monica was feeling better. I don't have to go back to my house for a few days, so hopefully I won't be late again this week.

More updates as they become available.

Derailed by a Gallbladder

Ok, folks, here's where we are:

Tuesday night Monica called me about 9:45pm. She was in a lot of pain and wanted me to come over. I dropped everything I was doing and hurried to her apartment. I asked if she wanted me to take her somewhere to take care of it, and she refused. She asked me to stay with her the night in case she did need to go somewhere, so I did.

At midnight she woke me up. She told me the pain was unbearable. I said that we should go to the ER, but she hemmed and hawed and tried to think of anything else she could do. It became apparent quickly that she didn't have any other options, so I took her to the MCA ER.

The pain was coming from her abdomen, so I thought MCA should be the place to go as they have a lot of bariatric surgeons on their staff. (One of them did my gastric bypass last year.) To the ER we went, and after doing all the tests that they do, they said that what was causing her problems was her gallbladder, and it needed to come out in the next two or three weeks. We were hoping that they would put her on the schedule and take it out that night, but instead they discharged her with some prescriptions and a referral to some of their surgeons.

The next day was Wednesday, and I called and made her an appointment with one of the surgeons on the ER's list. Monica was in pain, but she sent me to work all the same. She called me early Thursday morning and asked me to come back and stay with her as she was still hurting badly. I did.

Thursday we called around to some other surgeons to find a quicker appointment. The one we had was to see the surgeon on Monday with no date for surgery. Today we got an appointment to see a surgeon at 1pm. We went to the surgeon, and after a cursory look at the records, and a quick physical exam, and Monica was on the surgery schedule for Monday morning. I went to work and stayed with her again that night.

Friday I took her to the hospital to get her pre-registered and have her lab work done. We nearly had a disaster as the hospital insisted on collecting half of their fee up front. Monica didn't have the money and ended up applying for what amounts to a hospital credit card. I offered to pay some of the remaining expenses, but she flatly refused to let me and instead signed a promissory note for the remaining money. I again went to work and came to stay with her for the weekend as she really has nobody else to do that for her.

Saturday turned out to be busier than I had anticipated. I had a bridal portrait session scheduled. I considered canceling it, but was glad I didn't--more to that story later. I left Monica a couple of hours to do the shoot, then came back to her apartment. She didn't want to be cooped up, she said, so we went to Half Priced Books to just bum around. It was pretty clear she was in pain and wasn't enjoying what we were doing, and we soon left to go to my house to pick up my computer and let her rest. I did a few things around my house while she napped on my sofa. She said it was the best rest she had gotten during this ordeal due to my sofa being the "comfiest." Eventually we made our way back to her apartment and stayed in for the night.

That brings me to today. After yet another night with Monica, she was feeling that she wanted some alone time. She was looking ok, so I went home for a while, took in the first football games of the season, and did a little shopping. This evening I returned to lend more support to Monica in anticipation of her surgery tomorrow.

She has been moody the entire time, and tonight it all caught up with her. She says that she doesn't know what kind of relationship we have or if we even have one. She's afraid that I'll think she's needy because of this ordeal. There was more, but that's the upshot and all that needs to be said. Truth be told I don't know where we are myself save to say that we've been dating for a month (or less depending on Monica and when you ask) and neither of us really know what kind of commitment we're ready to make. To me that's all immaterial when someone is sick or in pain, so I consider this time of sickness an interlude in the process. How it turns out is yet to be seen.

Stay tuned, folks, it ain't over yet!

Labor Day Caching

Today was interesting. It started out inauspiciously. I got home ultra late (or early) and got only about four hours sleep. When I woke up I saw Monica had called me 21 times. No, that's not a mistake. The call count on my iPhone had the number 21 on it. I thought it was just a glitch. I proceeded to shower and get ready, but I was running a little late, so I called Monica to let her know.

Monica sounded like she was about to die. No, she said, she had called me like 60 times. She was feeling really bad and had contemplated going to the ER. Yikes! I thought. She claimed that she was feeling better now, but I made her call her friend and give us another hour anyway just to make sure she was feeling like going.

I got to her apartment, and she wasn't ready. She said she'd be ready, and that she was feeling better. She wanted to go, and I thought that she looked ok to go, so once she was ready we drove to Dallas to her friend John's apartment.

Over in Dallas we hooked up with John and went to our first cache. It was a historical marker that had info that redirected us to the actual object. It went fine. So did our next couple. We hit a wall when we started bush whacking our way to find one little container among hundreds of trees, and we soon became hot, tired, cross and disillusioned. We broke for lunch and tried a WhereIGo cache. We were doing ok right up until the last when something went awry, and we couldn't get the ultimate coordinates. Drat!

We did a cemetery cache next, and thankfully that was easier to find. We found it fairly quickly, and we found the redirector coordinates, so we were in better spirits. Not so much when we went to find the bonus cache. It was next to a creek on a steep bluff. We tried two different approaches to find it, risking life and limb in the process. Neither worked, so we left tired and cross again. We got a final steer back to the last part of the WhereIGo and finished up that one before we departed for John's apartment.

Once there we picked up John's partner Drew and went for dinner at a place called Zini's. The food there was good, but they were out of what I ordered, and Monica had to try twice to get a decent drink with her dinner. Monica, Drew and John all talked while I sat and listened. Monica, Drew and John all work for the Crocs shoe store chain, so they were talking work. After that we walked around the neighborhood that John and Drew live in before Monica and I left for Arlington. I think it was a good day, but there were certainly issues.

Next weekend Monica and I have tickets to the Fort Worth symphony, then we're going to downshift and just stay in the rest of the time.

A Day of Butterflies

Sunday came, and we went to Cedar Ridge Preserve. CRP is run by the Dallas Audobon society. It has a lot of walking trails and nature study-type activities. It also advertises a butterfly farm, and that's what we came to see.

Monica has a thing for butterflies, so when I read about a butterfly farm, I thought it would be the ideal place to go. I didn't really know what to expect, but I was expecting something a little more grandiose than what we found. It turned out that CRP has a Butterfly Garden as opposed to a farm, so there were far fewer butterflies than I would have liked, but there were enough, and Monica and I began taking pictures.

I brought both my cameras. I had one, and let Mon use the other. We took a lot of pictures. There were Monarchs, Yellow Swallowtails, and a few others. Monica rattled them off by heart. I just snapped away and let Mon, the expert, do the identifying. We stayed a couple of hours--it was hot, and we soon got hot and bothered. Before we left we were permitted to see inside one of the buildings they had out there. Inside this building is conducted more of the hands-on type stuff. We saw fossils, mounted insects, and other physical specimens in various stages of preparation.

We left tired but satisfied and repaired back to Monica's apartment. I thought that would be the end of the day, but Herman and Jen wanted to have us over for dinner and a game night, so after cooling down a bit, we grabbed some of Mon's board games and headed up to Roanoke.

It was a rare night! Herman is an excellent cook! He made grilled fajita steak and chicken to which was added Mexican rice and beans. Mon and I brought queso and chips. We sat down to eat and nearly burst--the food was that good. Herman didn't have desert, so he and I went to Braum's to pick up pie and ice cream while the girls cleaned. We got nine pints of ice cream and an apple pie. Back at their house Herman popped the pie in the oven, and we proceeded to play Scattergories, Mon's favorite game.

At least it was until Herman and I started playing. He and I found more ways to invent a scattergory than was known, and Monica swore she'd never play with Herman or I again. (She will--we just had a few antics on our part.)

We left after 1am. Actually, if I remember right, it was closer to 2am. We had a date to go geocaching with one of her colleagues from Dallas. All in all it was a fun but tiring day. I didn't know how I'd make it the next.

Movie Night, sorta

Friday came, but our plans changed slightly. We were going to see if Jen and Herman wanted to take in another movie with us, but they declined, and Monica didn't feel like going out. So instead of doing the theatre thing, we rented a couple from Red Box, got some food and just stayed in.

We rented Repo Men and Death at a Funeral. Repo men we both liked, but we cut off Death at a Funeral halfway through the movie. The movie was just plain bad, but Mon wasn't really feeling like carrying on the rest of the night, so I took the movies back to Red Box and went home. Sunday is still on. It'll be interesting to go see a butterfly farm.

Another Wednesday SWAG

Wednesday nights see a group of geocachers get together in south west Arlington. They call themselves the South West Arlington Geocachers, or SWAG for short. Monica has been going for some time. I haven't been because I haven't been active in geocaching for some time, but since I met Monica I have more or less reentered that world. Besides, it's a handy excuse to see her midweek.

I went tonight to SWAG, and Monica and I paired off immediately. We talked and had fun with the others there, but I wondered how what kind of vibes we were sending off and who had noticed, if anyone, that Monica and I appeared "together." As it turns out, at least one person did notice, but more on that later.

Monica and I stayed until we decided to get some ice cream, so we went to Braum's. We talked more there over a sundae and a dip of Splenda-ed ice cream until we both left to get some sleep for work. This weekend I said I'd take Mon to another movie on Friday, and to the butterfly farm at Cedar Ridge Preserve in Dallas on Sunday. All was agreeable, so more dates are now on the calendar.

The End of That Weekend

Due to the lateness of the hour, or earliness if you like, Monica and I didn't do anything on Saturday. She ended up skipping work, and I came home to do the responsible homeowner thing.

Sunday I ended up going to my next church. Stay tuned for that review. That afternoon I called Monica and offered to take her to the movie we talked about on Friday. She's into horror, but me not so much. At first we were going to a non/horror flick, but after church, a couple of errands and a call to a friend, I offered to take her to see The Last Exorcism.

We contacted Herman and Jen, and they went with us. The movie wasn't bad as movies go. It wasn't scary at all, just creepy in a few places with some gore added in. I'm not sure how Jen took it--she's equally not into horror. We retired back to Mon's apartment where Jen and Herman split for Roanoke. Things got a little hot and heavy with Monica, and we're definitely going on another date!

Where Has The Time Gone?

I really do apologize. When I made my last entry I thought for sure I'd be making more in the very near future. Things haven't turned out that way.

The way I left you guys last time, Monica and I were prepping for our second date. We ended up going to a place called the Glass Cactus with a couple of friends of hers. The Glass Cactus is a night club up at the Gaylord Texan. The entry charge isn't too terribly bad at $10, but we had free passes thanks to Herman, Monica's friend.

When we got in we encountered a really good band. They call themselves the Spazmatics, and they sing a lot of hits from the 80s. Monica seems to like the 80s music, and I do, too. It's nice to actually be able to hear the words to the songs and the familiar tunes. We all ended up dancing. Well, I say dancing, but my movements were anything but graceful or coordinated, but nobody seemed to care.

We stayed until a little after 1am the next day, then left to get some food at the local IHOP. After "breakfast", we retired to Herman's and Jen's house where we talked for a while before Monica and I left for home.

I had a good time, and as far as dates go, it was fun and instructional. More to come...

Fast and Furious, A Torrid Weekend

Where has Joe been? Wow! It's been a busy week topped by a hot and heavy weekend. Somehow I got all my hours in for the week while doing the second shift thing and survived, but just barely. I thought I was going to like second shift, but then something changed. Monica and I connected. There's a lot to tell, but not here and not now. Right now I'm trying to get back to bed--the second shift/first shift schedule is wreaking havoc on my system, and it's hard for me to sleep. I just wanted to give a quick update before I try to pass out for a few hours.

Second Shift Blues

This second shift business is killing me! Due to the hardware situation at work I need to come in evenings and use the hardware to finish up my software. This time last week I decided to cut loose a couple of hours and go to the SWAG get together to see Monica. This week she said she wasn't going due to a hair appointment, and that works for me because I'm trying to punch a deadline for Friday.

Making that deadline is easier said than done. Last night I got home at about a quarter till three in the morning. I got about four hours of sleep before I had to go to a doctor's appointment. I couldn't go back to sleep, but I was definitely fatigued and fighting a headache. I made it through, working another eleven hours, before coming home to update all you guys reading this blog. (How many of there are you???) Tomorrow I'll get to try again, and hopefully I'll be done with second shift for awhile, but honestly, I'm not holding my breath. Wish me luck!

Next Church Selected

Ok, things don't always go according to plan, but sometimes that's what makes it fun. I had planned on doing some research on churches this week, but that was overcome by events. A friend of mine from my old job offered to have me do photography for her son's wedding. But before I get the gig, her son wants to meet with me to see some samples, talk over some details, and other prewedding photography details. Instead of trying to come up with a separate place to meet, we decided to meet at their church where they plan on getting married. This will let me kill two birds with one stone. I'll be able to look at a new church and find out about a potential gig and its venue. Hopefully it'll lead to something good.

Second Date Obtained!

Last night Monica and I were texting back and forth. I asked her if she'd like to either go to the range with me or go caching. She leaned towards caching on Sunday, but after consulting her and her friends' work schedules, she counter offered to have a little dinner and hang out Friday evening. That works for me! We're to meet at Mijo's after work on Friday. Can't wait!

7/11 Christianity

Sometime last year, my brother sprang a new phrase on me: 7/11 music. I asked him what 7/11 music was. The short definition, he said, is singing the same seven words eleven times. It’s a term he heard applied to the current modern music in churches.

I thought this to be a little disparaging, if accurate, and I also thought it was an isolated instance of the phrase. Until I heard it twice more. I was having lunch with one of our family friends, and she used the phrase 7/11 church. She described it the exact same way: seven words repeated eleven times. Then when I was at ERCC two Sundays ago, the pastor used the phrase and trumpeted it as a good thing. Is it?

I’m fairly indifferent to music in church, especially as I’m wary to sing anything. The reason for that is I believe that it if you make a promise, it doesn’t matter whether it’s spoken, unspoken, whispered, or sung, it’s still a promise, and I won’t make a promise unless I mean it. A lot of these so-called 7/11 songs are promises. I’ll give up my life for you, or something to that effect, is a fairly common refrain. Even more of them are just describing some aspect of God or Jesus. You conquered death was the refrain of one of the songs sung last Sunday in ERCC. But is it good or bad?

To be sure, I don’t know. One of the things 7/11 music will do is make it easier for people to remember and memorize it. That’s the very nature of memorization: repetition. If I say the same thing over and over, eventually it will ingrain itself into my mind. That’s why I still remember the Lord’s Prayer in Old English, most of the first 18 lines of the Canterbury Tales in Middle English, Oh Captain, My Captain, and bits and pieces of other Shakespearean plays. It’s the major way we teach children to memorize things like Bible verses and multiplication tables.

I’m all for memorizing multiplication tables. I use them every day. Where I think it becomes a problem is when it’s used as indoctrination or “brain washing.” Why? Just because I say something over and over again doesn’t make it true. That’s why I don’t sing: I want to make sure that what I’m singing, and potentially ingraining in my mind is true. This is the way that a lot of psychotherapists and self-help “experts” do things. Want to make yourself feel better? Just keep saying: I am valuable, I am valuable, I am valuable… until you actually believe it.

If there is a danger to singing like this, then why do churches sing these types of songs? The smart churches know that there is a perception that singing songs from a hymnal with traditional music is seen as stodgy and old school. Smart churches are trying to make themselves attractive to the younger crowd, and the younger crowd is used to the 7/11 music. And the prevailing school of thought is: if the audience likes 7/11 music, then let’s make sure the songs are “good” instead of bad.

But there is almost no thought in singing 7/11-style music. You can put the words on the screen, start the music, and watch people singing. Are they aware of what they are singing? I tend to think not, and in my mind, that’s the danger of 7/11 music. As I said before, it doesn’t matter how you make a promise once it’s made. With the understanding of how 7/11 music operates, I choose not to sing just to be safe.

Bad Decision Leads To Good Instruction

So where did I go to church today? ERCC. Why? I wanted to see if Jessica was there.

It was a bad decision, plain and simple. I wasn't thinking about church. I was thinking about my social life. Guess what? She wasn't even there! Gotta love karma. But it wasn't all bad.

The pastor talked about something that I had heard from another pastor earlier this year. What it all boils down to is: you can tell a Christian by how he lives his life. That's a gross oversimplification, especially because I know a bunch of good, nice people that aren't Christians, but the flip side is I know a bunch of crumbs that claim to be Christian.

The concept is this: I can claim to be a Christian, but if there isn't any evidence of Christianity in my life, then I'm either a liar or a hypocrite. There are plenty of people who claim to be Christians that aren't. Some are obvious, like Larry Flynt (publisher of Hustler magazine). Others are very hard to tell. That's the lying part.

The hypocrite part is the harder one to figure out, especially at church. When you're at church, you tend to act a certain way. It's how you act when your're NOT in church that really tells the story. There are exceptions, of course, but identifying a hypocrite takes a little more time. But I digress.

The upshot is this: if you really want to be a Christian, then it has to show in your life outside the church house. If you claim to be a Christian, and it doesn't show, then your integrity is rightly called into question. (Disclaimer: I'm just as guilty of this as everyone else, and my integrity has been called on more than one occasion.) This all goes back to John 15 and the part that says a good vine cannot produce bad fruit and vice versa, with the principle being that you can tell a Christian by the type of fruit he produces.

While the message was good, I must confess that I was disappointed, but not because I didn't see the girl I was interested in. I had thought about going to some of the small groups that the church is going to start shortly, but not after hearing them described. After the service the leaders of the small groups got up and did a one minute spiel about what they were going to do. Their advertising was less then stellar, and I really didn't hear about any subjects that I would be interested in.

Long story short, I should have trusted my instincts and gone to another church instead of chasing a non-existent relationship, but I did get a consolation prize. Hopefully next Sunday will be different.

Downshift Saturday

Wow! has it been a busy week! Doing second shift, going to the SWAG get together on Wednesday, and a date last night, and I'm wiped for today.

I had planned on going to a Pampered Chef party at my friend Sarina's house. I had even responded in the affirmative on her Facebook announcement. But I slept in too late, and once I got up, the laxative that my doctor had prescribed took effect. Long story short, I stayed in the bathroom while Pampered Chef took place. Ah well, I'll make the next one.

With my morning now shot, I just vegged around the house. There were no definite plans, just a sense that I have to do something about my lawn. Early in the afternoon Yizong called and asked if I'd go with him to buy yet another range finder camera. I said I would, got dressed, and went up to his apartment.

We left there and went to East Dallas to one of the seediest neighborhoods I've been to in quite some time. Yizong called me for a specific reason--he knows I carry a gun, and this is one of those neighborhoods that makes me glad I have one. Of course the problem is that Yizong never writes down exactly where we're going. (The last time we guessed at where we were supposed to meet the seller and got lucky.) We drove up and down the street a few times, growing more wary as we did so. Finally he called a mission abort, and we decided to go to the gun show for a little while.

This was the first time I went into a gun show and didn't spend more than a hundred dollars. Truth be told, I spent a grand total of five dollars on some beef jerky. Yizong tried to get me to buy a camouflaged tool bag as a purse for Monica, but I didn't really fancy the idea, so he ended up buying it for his wife. I saw a few things that were nice, but nothing I really wanted to buy--especially as I didn't have the money to buy anything much.

After we returned to Arlington I went down to Golfsmith, a big golfing store. I played with a bunch of putters, drove a few balls with a couple of drivers, and drooled over some of the high end equipment. I bought a few golf balls (one of my new weaknesses) and found a deal for a free glove to boot.

Academy Sports was next on my hit list, and I almost wish I hadn't gone. This weekend was tax free weekend, so everywhere was pretty much besieged by people trying to save a few cents (all that you really save on tax free weekend). I looked at their golf stuff, compared prices, and took a spin around the store before I went to Dick's Sporting Goods.

Dick's is a place I don't usually go to for two reasons: their prices are usually a bit higher, and they're in the mall. I avoid malls in general due to the crowds and the teeny bopper scene, but I wanted to see what they had in golf. I found several 5 woods, but they were lady's clubs, so I abandoned that search and went to the Knife Shoppe to have my pocket knife sharpened.

After the mall I took a spin to Target and Walmart to get some groceries and finish my exercising for the day. Groceries and a few goodies in hand, I bailed out and came home tired, but satisfied. Except that I wasn't done.

Even as I write this post, I still haven't figured out where I'll go to church tomorrow. I thought about going back to ERCC and see if Jessica goes, but if I do that, it will only be to see if I can connect with Jessica, which doesn't seem like a good enough reason. Besides, it's currently a captain-less vessel, and there are a lot of churches to go to. I may pick another one at random and go to it. Hopefully next week I'll have done some homework and find a church that advertises a singles group. But who knows... if things work out with Monica, I may not need a singles group any more. Stay tuned folks!

The First First Date

Finally, a day to downshift and relax. This second shift work schedule has really thrown me for a loop, and I had intended to go in to finish off my hours for this week, but I only got about one more hour before the activities of the day started. I had a massage in the afternoon, then retreated to the house for tonight's activity.

My friend Yizong called right before Monica came over. He wanted to make sure that I would dress appropriately for the event. I told him I would, but what we were doing tonight wasn't complicated or dressy, so I wore a work shirt, shorts, and tennis shoes. That's about what Monica had on, so it turned out to be a good call dressing wise.

Monica came over to my house about 5:30ish after fighting traffic. After a little discussion, we decided to catch dinner first. I took her to Marquez Bakery, a place very near the ball parks in Arlington. She and I both like Mexican, and Marquez Bakery makes really good food.

We got there about 6ish and looked around, deciding what to have for dinner. Monica was enthralled with the Pepsi in the recycled glass bottles from Mexico, and picked one of those our for her drink while I went for a simple bottle of water. We ordered, found a booth, and proceeded to talk until the place closed. We talked about travels, work, geocaching, and anything else that popped into our minds while we munched on chips and queso, and assorted other items.

Before we left Monica took advantage of the bakery part of the establishment. She got some cookies and a cake, and we picked up some chips to go with the leftover queso from dinner. (Important note: don't order a large queso from Marquez Bakery unless you MEAN it! It's huge!) With our purchases in hand and a good dinner digesting, we repaired to the house to start our Futurama night.

We really didn't talk that much after dinner or during Futurama. We were both full and just downshifted to watch Futurama. In all we took in all the new episodes that had just aired over the summer, and it was about midnight when we said good night, and she left for her apartment.

I had a great time, and as a date, I think it went successfully. I'm not sure if she's interested in me, but I'd definitely like to try for another date. Next Wednesday is another South West Arlington Geocacher get together, and we're both going to try to make it. Hopefully we'll get together and put together another date in the very near future.

The Stupid Things I Do to Increase My Chances

Working second shift is a drag. It's a drag because it is a lot more demanding time-wise than first shift, especially if you do your business/relaxing in the day and go to work at the end of the day like I do. Consequently it plays hell with evening social activities.

Last night was a prime example. I had not planned on going to the Wednesday night Geocachers get together at No Frills grill, but Monica, the girl I met last Friday, wanted me to come. She's coming to my house on Friday to take in the new Futuramas, so I guess it's a kind of date. Wanting (or hoping) to increase my chances of fostering the relationship, I elected to take off work, go to the get together, then stay ultra late to make up the time.

I had fun, but now I'm behind at work. Tonight is the last night of the week, and it'll be a long one. I hope it was worth it.

Shopping or Searching

Am I church shopping, or searching for the place God wants me? That's a question I have struggled with extensively as part of this project. It's a complicated answer with a lot of prickly issue to go with it. I have been accused of church shopping at least four times this year by a coworker, an acquaintance from my old church, one of my neighbors, and an online high school acquaintance. But am I?

From the way I write about the churches I go to, it can definitely be spun that I am church shopping. The concept of church shopping runs something like this: I don't like the church I'm going to for whatever reason, so I'll simply find another church that I do like. The key word in that statement is: LIKE. The typical scenario is that for some reason, or somehow, I no longer like the church I'm going to, so instead of working within the church or somehow trying to change (or accept) the issue, I leave and find a church that doesn't have the issue or somehow treats me differently.

So why should a person leave a church? There are very few reasons, but one of them, and the one that matters the most to me is: willfully disregarding the Bible or willfully doing wrong. What constitutes willfully doing wrong? Intentionally lying would be one example. But even that is not sufficient cause. It would have to be systematic, continuous, and, when pointed out or confronted, disregarded and ignored by the powers that be. Unfortunately those things do happen in churches. There are other scenarios that would qualify; the above was not mine.

When a person experiences the kind of situation I just described, it heightens the awareness of that person when reengaging in another scenario. In the case of looking for a church, and more specifically in my case, it means that the churches I visit are thoroughly examined before I would be willing to join. Some churches are easy to weed out of the mix because they exhibit bad behavior right up front. Others may be better at covering it up, but if it exists, it will come out.

There is a line from the movie Pollyanna: "When you look for the bad in mankind expecting to find it, you surely will." And that's the problem with a project like this. It is VERY easy once a person has been hurt to look for the bad in a situation. I hope that's not what I'm doing.

The sole criteria for finding a church should be: is this where God wants me? Unfortunately, it very rarely is. In my case, I believe that where God wants me involves certain things for certain reasons. One of those is: I believe I am supposed to get married. Why? It's due to I Corinthians 7:9. It says, "But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion." This part of I Cor. talks about being single, how Paul wishes we could all be single so that we could concentrate on serving God only. But this little clause was inserted for those of us who have issues being single. That being the case for me, I believe it is my duty to solve that self control issue as soon as possible. Obviously there's more to it than this, but this post isn't the place to go into it. Maybe some day later...

Church Review - Eden Road Community Church

Eden Road Community Church

7000 Matlock Rd.

Arlington, TX 76002

(817) 465-3500

www.edenroad.com

Ok, back to the project now that I'm home from Lubbock. Today I went to Eden Road Community Church. I have driven past this church several times on my way to Walmart and destinations down south. Several weeks ago I attempted to contact this church via email to get info on their singles group, if any. They never responded.

Not being one to write off a church for clerical issues (I've seen how some operate behind the scenes), I decided to give it a try this Sunday. ERCC offers two services each Sunday, and I went to the second service which starts at 10:45am. ERCC has two buildings apparent from the main road, but when I turned in to the parking lot, I saw three temporary/modular buildings behind the main buildings. They are in use as I saw some people going to them between the two services. I went to the main building for the worship service.

The main building is utilitarian and spartan. There are very few decorations, if any. I didn't notice any embellishments whatsoever. The interior was white with expose duct work and gymnasium-type halogen lights. The floor was plain linoleum, and I noticed that there were basketball court markings on it. Either this building was at one point a gym, or it is used or will be used as a gym in the future.

The main sanctuary is of the typical modern church type. It has linked chairs, no pews, a modular stage and sound booth, and the projector/screen combination. Well, it has a projector, but not a screen. The projector was simply displaying its fair on the wall. There was no choir. The stage had modern instruments: guitars, bass, keyboard, drums. Worship was conducted by a six member worship team, and the music was modern. There were hymnals under some of the seats in the sanctuary, but none of the music came from them. It was all projected on the wall, and all thoroughly modern.

Two songs into the service, and the minister stopped us and read Psalm 136 in its entirety. This was nice as it was a nice way to ground the song we had been singing. He referred to the concept of 7/11 music, although he didn't use that term. He pointed out that there are times that God does make repetitious statements, and Psalm 136 definitely shows that. While I thought that was a nice touch, I was slightly irked that there was some editorializing going on during the reading. I don't know how much of what the minister said was written in his Bible (in a different translation) and how much was added, but there were definitely some words that sounded added to me.

Two more songs later, and we were in the main service. For all the pastor's earlier editorializing, he had a good message, if a little unpolished. It wasn't stark, but it wasn't some bite-sized sound byte message, either. That was refreshing. He spoke on how families are supposed to operate according to Colossians 3:18-21. The upshot of the entire sermon was: everyone in a family is supposed to love and serve each other.

Once the message was over, the offering was taken. I put my calling card in the plate. There were a few more announcements, and then we were done. There was no altar call. I had anticipated this earlier as the bulletin made mention of a membership class, and the pastor had also announced the membership class earlier in the service.

After the service I talked with a few people. One was a girl called Jessica. Jessica is a med student who has recently moved to Fort Worth. She said that she had been coming here for about a month or so, and she really liked it. Jessica said that there were a lot of places to get plugged in, and that the people were nice.

I also talked with a couple of their members who seemed to be deacons or elders. From them I got the following:

• The membership of the church is about 300 strong
• There is currently no senior pastor
• The pastor this morning was the youth pastor
• There is no singles group

To add to the housekeeping, I noticed that the sanctuary could hold 200-300 bodies, so that jives with the membership number. I didn't see that many old people here. There were a bunch of couples a few children, and, by my estimate, only two or three singles including Jessica (no ring), but excluding me. The church is either actively seeking to expand or thinking about expanding as there is a "master plan" of drawings for an anticipated expansion of the facilities.

On leaving, I picked up a few brochures that the church had in the back. One was a history of the church, and it is fairly unremarkable save to say that this church has moved a couple of times, and they are not afraid to abandon buildings to relocate. One concerned worship, and I briefly scanned it to see if it contained any specifics about the church. It really didn't. Finally, I picked up a brochure on their small groups. This interests me as there are some topics coming up that interest me.

So where does ERCC fall on my list? To be sure, I'm not all that excited about joining a church without a pastor. That means that they are looking for one, and they have no clue where he'll lead, so membership for me is out of the question at this point. The small groups interest me, and I may try to go to one or two classes to see how they work out. Without a singles group my interest level drops, but the demographics aren't terrible. I'll put it on my may revisit list.

Temporarily Not Single

Yesterday I had planned to try to not be home as much as possible this weekend, but it's been a hard week, and I wasn't really in the mood to play games, so instead I just did the responsible host/homeowner routine today. I slept in way late due to the second shift madness and got up about an hour and a half before we were to meet my uncle and his family for lunch.

That lunch took a lot longer than I thought. We showed up at the restaurant at noon and didn't leave until nearly 3:30pm! The usual thing happened: My parents talked with my aunt and uncle while I talked with my cousin who is one year older than me (more or less). My uncle's family friend was also there, and she split her time about half and half in the conversations.

Heather, my cousin, and I talked about school, high school, the reunion I just got back from, church, TV, and anything else we could think of. It's nice to have that type of person who you can just talk to without having to do any kind of mental filtering. Both my and her parents embarrass us to some extent, and we were corralling them to a certain degree, but, with one exception, lunch went incredibly smooth (a nice change from the norm).

After lunch we all split up. Mother thought I was going home with them, but the fact that I drove my own vehicle and had told her numerous times I had other things to do along didn't seem to register with her. I checked my clock and noticed that the Pampered Chef party I had planned to go to was already over, except that it wasn't today! It's two weeks from today! (Thank God for iPhones and Facebook.) My afternoon having become uncomplicated I escaped to Academy Sports to talk to their golf guys for awhile (yes, I'm starting a new hobby, God help me!) and then came home while mother was asleep.

At home I finally hauled out the new fence slats and nails and repaired the fence between my house and the vacant house next door. (That's a long story for another time and another blog.) That work done I just hung around with my dad until mother woke up and started stirring the pot again. Dad and I have an adult-to-adult relationship where mother still treats me like I'm ten years old. So far it's been an amicable weekend with me copying daddy's CDs (he has great taste in music [or he's cloned it on me, whichever]) and getting the house in a little order.

Tomorrow may be a little more contentious as there is nothing to do but go to separate churches. Mother wants to go to "my church." Except that I don't have a church any more. So naturally she says that we'll all go to First Baptist Arlington. My response? Not a chance in Hell! This project is my own undertaking with my own goals. I honestly don't need mother interfering with it. Will I go to FBC Arlington? Maybe, but definitely by myself.

Downshifting and Hiding

This is one of those days where singleness is something to be desired. Today my parental units drove down from Lubbock to stay with me for the weekend. Being around my mother is always stressful, and I already saw her last week while I was up in Lubbock for the high school reunion. So my solution was to hide, at least for tonight.

There were just two little tricks to that: working second shift and going to one of my friend's Friday the 13th event. Working second shift turned out to not be a big deal due to the fact that 2nd shift starts after 12 noon, so working my hours around that was no big deal. (Finding the help I needed at work to get my tasks done, now that wasn't at all easy.) I worked until nearly 7pm, then I went to the Friday the 13th thing.

The Friday the 13th event is connected with another of my hobbies: geocaching. I have a long and sordid history with geocaching, and I quit actively caching months (if not years) ago, so I wasn't exactly looking forward to talking about caching for several hours tonight. But, seeing as how I was hiding, I decided to go and have as good a time as I could. That, and the event was organized by a single girl about my age, so not only could I hide, I also had a prospect!

I hid out at the event, well, dinner really, for a couple of hours. I saw a lot of friends from the geocaching community, and amazingly, we really didn't talk about caching all that much. There was a lot of talk about my weight loss and other personal things, which was exactly what I needed after a day of frustration and a weekend of stress. I talked at length with one lady who had had a bariatric surgery, and we compared notes. I saw one of my colleagues from work who had just gotten back tonight from a business trip. I talked with his wife for a little while to compare work notes. There were some door prizes, and even though I didn't win, it was nice just to be there in the atmosphere.

During the night, I talked with Monica, the single girl event organizer. I had met her before years ago at another geocaching event, and at the time she was engaged to a guy, so I really didn't get to know her that well. Now that she is a free agent again, I talked with her at length. It turns out we have a lot of the same interests, and we have a few divergent ones that could be fun to explore. She's 30, and I'm 31, so there is no problem with age differential. After dinner, when everybody else took off, we stayed and talked for another two and a half hours in the parking lot in front of the restaurant. It was a good, long conversation coving a lot of ground, and I think we might have connected somewhat. She likes Futurama, but hasn't seen any of the new episodes, so sometime this week I'll call her and invite her to see the new season that I have DVRed. This could be fun, folks! Stay tuned!

Working Second Shift

My chances of getting out and about have changed somewhat. For the next week or so I get to work second shift, which means going in to the office in the afternoon and staying until late at night. I'm thinking most people would be available to go out in the evenings, so that puts me out of that circle. But then again, chances are I wouldn't have gone out anyway.

Sorry for the short post tonight. I've got more interesting things to ponder, and they're coming soon.

A Comedy of Errors

There are times in this world where everything seems to click. Most of the time some things click, and some don't. Then there are times when nothing clicks into place at all. This is the case with Kathryn and me.

You may remember two or three Sundays ago Yizong brought his friend Kathryn over to my house to introduce us. The day didn't exactly go well as I was trying to play host to three people, made sure nobody blew themselves up, and watched out for a 1-year old. Three hours later, the 1-year old had her first scar courtesy of my cat, and Kathryn and Yizong had to leave. End result: we met, but only briefly.

Yizong tried again. Two Sundays ago he preached his ultimate sermon at RCC. He asked Kathryn and I to attend. We both came separately (why it didn't occur to any of us to have me pick Kathryn up is beyond me right now). I came; Kathryn was late and had her parents in tow, so there wasn't really time before the service for us to talk.

During the service, Kathryn asked me not to pass the communion paraphernalia to her (as she has not yet become a Christian). I knew that would produce controversy, but I did as I was asked. After the service there people more or less surrounded us. Kathryn and her parents were the curiosity, so everyone wanted to talk to her. I was the prodigal son, return to the pasture, so everyone wanted to talk to me. After we escaped, Kathryn said she had to run back to her apartment to make sure her rice cooker hadn't burned the place down. End result: no further progress.

SIDEBAR

Kathryn's refusal of communion impressed me deeply. There are plenty of people who would have taken the trays and shared communion whether or not they were Christian just to keep up appearances. Kathryn's refusal shows me that she respects our beliefs enough not to put up a charade and partake of something that, so far, means nothing to her. I wish all people were as honest and conscientious.

END SIDEBAR

As we were waiting for an appointment with a camera seller later that afternoon Yizong asked me if I got her phone number. I confessed I hadn't. Yizong was incredulous. He thought it should have been easy for me to get it after the second meeting. The catch is the circumstances just weren't right. How many guys ask for a girl's number under her parents' noses, in church, while trying to escape the mini mob surrounding us?

Moreover, Kathryn and I still haven't really met. We are both engineers (according to Yizong) and incredibly shy. Neither she nor I have any idea what we're doing in the dating scene. Yizong says he'll try again, but I don't know where it will go from here. If something happens it'll be an incredible stroke of luck. I'm about to start second shift work, so all my nights just became occupied, and neither she nor I still really know if the other is interested in pursuing any kind of friendship or relationship. Stay tuned folks, this could be interesting!

Back in Arlington, Wishing I WAS Alone

Ok, there are times that I do want to be alone. Or at least away from certain people. I had a good time at Trinity's high school reunion this weekend, but I was staying at the parental units' house. I love the parental units, but there is a reason I moved out--I value my space. This weekend mother has to come down for some medical tests, and, that's right, you guessed it, they're staying with me. Guess I won't have a weekend this time around.

Family Reunion and Weekend Wrap Up

Ok, last official day of the weekend, and it was as busy as each day during this little sojourn to Lubbock. First, I didn't go to church. I thought about it and even looked up a few to see if I could find a church that advertised a singles group, but I couldn't quickly find a website with the desired info, and combined with the fluctuating schedule, I decided to just pack in the church thing until next weekend.

Mother's family reunion was this Sunday, and I wasn't looking forward to it at all. But I went anyway, if for nothing else just to make a token appearance and reset the counter on years absent. I must say I was surprised by what I found. My cousin from Oregon that had a family emergency ended up losing her husband last night, so my sympathies go out to her. My cousins from Maryland were there, and it's always nice to talk to them. But over and above that, there were some pretty cute girls wandering about the room. Too bad they're all family, even if I don't know them. Long story short I grabbed a plate, had lunch, and sat with the Marylanders and talked with them until I had to punch out and get things together to go back to the metromess.

Before I could do that, I had to make a stop at the house of the parents of my friend Casey. They wanted to see both me and our other friend from Allen, but she punched out yesterday, so I was all there was. C and I went by and talked for about a half hour until I returned to the parental units' house and packed my gear to go back to Arlington.

Packing wasn't as big a deal this time as Thursday, but I think that's because I was less hurried and it wasn't as hot. I got all my junk in and, after a couple of errands, I hit the road and made it back to Arlington. Right now I'm trying to get all my stuff sorted from the weekend and get pictures posted. Tomorrow I still have off, so I might just veg.

TCS All Class Reunion - Day 3

Today was the final day of the TCS All Class reunion. It had one event, a family picnic out at Legacy Play Village. It was simply a time for alumni, spouses and children to have one last hurrah for the weekend. There was a party pack of shaved ice from Bahama Bucks (a local delicacy) as an added treat. Families came, and while some took advantage of the playground, most stayed in the relative shade of the pavilion to introduce children and spouses.

As photographer I moved around between the two venues, but it was fun all the same. I got to talk to several people I hadn't seen in over fifteen years. I think we all had some fun (I did), but heat and children (especially young ones) don't mix for long, and within a couple of hours we all said our goodbyes and went our separate ways for the next five years. (That's when the next reunion will be.)

The rest of the day was spent having lunch with some old classmates, having a Starbucks, and running an errand before I went up to Plainview to see my brother and his wife. We talked over some important things, some not so important things, grabbed a bite for dinner, and took in a movie. We rented Full Metal Jacket watched it until I had to leave, once again late at night/early next morning.

Tomorrow is the family reunion. I am dreading it as the one person I really wanted to see will not be there yet again. (It's not her fault; it's a family emergency.) I plan to leave early and beat it for home so that I can figure out how to get back into the stream next week.

TCS All Class Reunion - Day 2

What a day!

I didn't sleep well last night. I may have reinjured a hernia, and the pain was keeping me up all night. I finally drifted off to sleep sometime in the morning, and when my alarm went off, I shut it off and went back to sleep. I ultimately got up at about 9am, and went for a walk (like I didn't do yesterday). During my walk, I got a call from one of my teachers. He cancelled out on shooting with us this afternoon. Of the three that I was going to take, only one ended up going.

I got back to the house and packed up all my shooting gear and went up to the school. We went to the range and had a complete blast! There is an outdoor range near Slaton called Rustic Range. It's a really nice facility located off a dirt road in a little canyon. It has a nice shop, some reloading supplies, a lot of lanes and target stands, and, most importantly, you can back your vehicle up to your stand.

That's exactly what we did considering the amount of gear I had in my truck bed. We spent the next three hours going through a ton of old battlefield rifles. After awhile we switched to pistols. Three hours later we were hot, tired, but thorougly satisfied at the amount of paper we had killed.

We retired back to town, and me to the house. I had about an hour and a half to shower, cool off and get ready for tonight. The festivities tonight were semiformal, so I had packed some trousers and a shirt. The real trick was going to be shooting pictures in all that getup. I finally left the house at about six and got to the school to set up for portraits.

The portraits didn't quite go as planned (actually, they didn't go at all), but that's a minor thing. There were more people there tonight than last night, and I saw a bunch of people that I hadn't seen for years. We went through teacher recognitions, future plans for the school, the alumni association, etc. all while having a nice dinner. I got a lot of good pictures, so hopefully that will set up some future business for me.

I'm not doing this post any justice, but it's another case of getting home late. I'll have more thoughts during the week next week.

TCS All Class Reunion - Day One

It's late. About 1am according to the clock on the computer that I'm typing on right now, but the date will still probably show as yesterday on the posting, which is what I intend. The lateness of the hour (or earliness, if you prefer) is a good indicator of the kind of time I'm having.

This morning wasn't all that wonderful. Packing never is. I woke up later than I would have liked, bussed myself, my cameras, studio, rifles, pistols, ammo, luggage, and various other assorted items to my truck to bring back to Lubbock with me. Instead of leaving the metromess at 10am like I would have liked, I left my house at 11 and had to make a few errands before I could ultimately leave. That happened at noon.

The drive back was pleasant once I had everything sorted and put in its place. I didn't stop once I finally got going. It was nice to listen to a complete audio book without having to change discs (thank you iPhone!). I got to the parents' house in the late afternoon and disgorged my truck of its cargo into the house. The parental units and I did the family thing until it was time to go up to the school to register for the weekend.

Registration was the normal thing, but just standing around and seeing some of my classmates from thirteen years ago was wonderful! We hugged, talked, got to see who had changed (and who hadn't). Right up until the first event of the weekend.

Road Rally school was first on the agenda. It was nice to see Mrs. Garrett (the English teacher extraordinaire) assume her old role and brief us on the dos and don'ts of the road rally. I remembered some of it, but not all. Of course I was flitting about the room, taking lots of pictures (as I somehow became the official photographer this weekend). Some of us had done a rally before, some hadn't. In my case I had done one, but we never finished it. Half an hour of briefings later, and we were all assigned to our respective vehicles.

There were only two in my truck: me, and my friend Casey. We were originally car 13, but somehow moved up to car 10. (I like that as I'm not a big fan of the number 13.) At our appointed time we received our instructions and struck out for the rally. There were a few places where we stumbled, but we made it through and finished! That brings my record to 1 for 2 completing road rallies.

After the rally, some of us went to Applebee's to talk and reminisce. It was interesting. Of the eight of us that were there, only two did a lot of talking. The rest of us just kind of sat there and enjoyed. Occasionally one of us would interject something, but we talked past midnight until we were all yawning and just about to fall asleep.

It was a great start to what I hope is a great weekend. There is a lot more I haven't written about, but I'm tired, so I'm going to sign off and put some more thoughts into a later post.

Church Review - Ridglea Christian Church

Ridglea Christian Church
6720 W. Elizabeth Ln
Fort Worth, TX 76116
(817) 738-0612
www.ridgleachristian.org

Ok, I’m going to cheat in two ways tonight. First, I normally do church reviews on Sundays. I went to RCC this Sunday, but I had better things to write about until tonight. Second, this is the church that I attended for two years until February of this year, so I have intimate knowledge of the church. I’m going to try to limit my observations, but forgive me if a little bias slips in.

RCC is an old church and a small church. It’s old in that most of the people that attend are age 50 or older, and it’s old in the way it conducts itself. More about that later. It’s small in that each Sunday it has about 100ish people show up for the service and about 60ish for Sunday school. This is all published in RCC’s weekly newsletter.

RCC is small. The sanctuary is designed to fit about 400-500 bodies, but only about 80-90 show up each Sunday for the service. It has a choir, and the choir as well as the church staff are included in the attendance numbers. RCC used to be a lot larger than it is, even offering weekday school classes at one point. But time, a church split, and neglect have decimated both the church and the congregation.

RCC is old in the way it conducts itself. Everything about the church is traditional. The music is traditional, straight out of the hymnal. There are no instruments in the sanctuary other than the piano and the organ, although occasionally (read once or twice a year) there will be some more modern music done by people who bring their own instruments. The service follows a set pattern: A liturgist reads the announcements and starts the service. There is music, a choral introit, then the choir, minister and elders process into the sanctuary. The liturgist then does a responsive reading with the audience. There is another hymn followed by the children’s moment. The minister then does prayer requests and praises followed by the ministerial prayer. This is followed by a stewardship meditation, tithing, singing the doxology, having communion, saying the Lord’s prayer, more music, the sermon, the altar call (which is a standard call), one last hymn then the recessional. There is little or no variation whatsoever in the service.

The sanctuary itself has no projector or screen. It has the liturgist’s lectern on the right side, the pulpit on the left, both raised off the stage. The elders sit behind the altar doing the offering and communion. Each pew (yes, there are pews and not chairs) has six hymnals and two Bibles in the racks on the back of them. It is in all respects the stereotypical traditional church.

Unfortunately this tradition is carried over to the singles group, which is to say RCC doesn’t have a singles group. But here’s the kicker—they claim that they DO have a singles group. It is composed of anyone who is just out of high school to just out of college. I was placed in it felt absolutely out of place. I was easily the oldest person in that group by five years or more. Everyone in it was still in college or had just graduated and had what I term the “college mindset.” I was the only one started down the career path. This got old, and I left the group for some time until a new minister was hired. I hoped he would put new life in the group, so I started to go for a new more months, but after talking with him several times he made it abundantly clear that he had no intention of trying to start a singles group like I was looking for for several years until everything else was well in hand. That was the start of my break with this church, and over the next few months following this discussion circumstances made it quite easy for me to leave.

Long story short, RCC is not a place you want to go to for a singles group or for anything unless you want to work and be valued for ONLY your work for the church. If you expect anything else, you will be sorely disappointed.

So why did I go back? My friend Yizong was delivering his ultimate sermon at this church, and his friend who I met two Sundays ago was there. He’s trying to set us up, but we’re both dense. More about that later.

Mickey and Julie Got Married

Last Saturday, July 31, my friend Mickey got married to his fiance Julie. How it happened is a little vague to me. I met Mickey when we both worked for Lockheed Martin. Truth be told he didn't seem the marrying type to me. He had an occasional girlfriend off and on, but nothing really strong.

That is until a year or so ago. He met Julie through eHarmony. (Ok, I guess eHarmony works for some people.) They seemed to work together really well. One thing led to another, and eventually they moved in together, bought a house, and he proposed. It all came to a marriage three days ago.

Julie's family is Catholic. (I don't know if Julie is practicing or not.) They got married in the Good Shepherd Catholic Community Church. While this isn't a church review, let me share my observations nonetheless.

Good Shepherd Catholic Community Church
1000 Tinker Road
Colleyville, TX 76034
(817) 416-4267
gscc.net

The church is fairly large. The main auditorium could easily seat 1000 by my estimate. In the middle of the main auditorium is the altar, pulpit, lectern, and baptismal font. The main auditorium itself is very light and airy. There are a lot of sidelights, and one side of it has large picture windows that open onto a courtyard. There is a beautifully carved crucifix at the altar. All in all it is a very beautiful auditorium.

SIDEBAR

I'm not using the term sanctuary because in Catholic terms there are apparently two areas in an auditorium: the assembly and the sanctuary. The sanctuary is where the priests, choir, and other church personnel are situated. The assembly is where the audience sits. I make this point because I made the mistake of commenting on the beauty to one of the deacons of the church, and he explained the differences to me.

END SIDEBAR

There is apparently a very large choir to go with this church. The choir area takes up approximately 25% of the auditorium. We did not do any singing, so I don't know what kind of music to expect, but there were hymnals (paperback and current to this year), an organ, and what looked like an orchestra area. While there were hymnals, there were two retractable screens with projectors cleverly hidden behind two of the pillars in the building. It takes a lot to impress me about architecture, symmetry and clean lines, and I was impressed!

As to the wedding itself, it was a fairly standard wedding, but also a fairly traditional wedding. A cross was carried in at the head of the processional. (I'm wondering if this is a Catholic thing as I've seen it done in every Catholic service I've seen.) There was no censor being carried in. The processional was otherwise normal save that the priest was also in the processional as opposed to standing at the front, or center in this case. There was a lot of scripture reading and responsive reading. Mickey and Julie took their vows simultaneously, which I thought was a nice touch. They then did their promises and exchange of rings. During the homily, everyone sat down. In my opinion this should be a rule in weddings as it gives everyone a chance to rest a bit, and this was especially important in this wedding as the air conditioning did not kick in until the very last of the photographs were being taken.

When all the pictures were done, the reception started, and I was completely unprepared for it. I had talked with Mickey off and on this last year, and I heard a lot of the stories of the preparations that were going on for the wedding, but not a lot about the reception. I was expecting the standard hour-long cake and finger foods thing, but Mickey and Julie went all out! There was a DJ, dancing, hors d'oeuvres, nametags for place settings, party favors, the whole smash! The food was excellent as was the entertainment. I stayed through the first dance, food, toasts, and dances with the parents. At that point it was late, and I was getting depressed (as I always do at weddings not my own), and left.

All in all it was a good night. I took a lot of notes from the wedding concerning the church and photography--it turns out that I do all the same things as Mark, Mickey's and Julie's photographer. (I felt pretty good about that.) The food was good, and I got to see two friends get married. I just hope my day isn't too far down the road.

Nice Guys Finish Last

Do nice guys really finish last? I hope not, as I seem to fall into the category of a “nice guy.” I wish I were tooting my own horn here, but in the relationships I’ve had that lasted any amount of time (a grand total of two and a half by my count), I was the nice guy, and the girl had no interest in me beyond friendship.

Why have I been thinking about this? Well, my friend Lacey and her longtime boyfriend Coleman broke up last week. (Lacey is the downstairs neighbor I wrote about.) I’ve been texting Lacey back and forth this week, and she tells me that she and Coleman are working things out and getting back together. I said that I was glad to hear that.

Almost as soon as this breakup happened, I was conflicted. I’ve always been attracted to Lacey. She’s beautiful, very nice, and not judgmental. She had no problem talking with me, a complete stranger, when we were neighbors. We talked often, and I had aspirations of dating until, as is my lot, I found out she already had a boyfriend. So when this breakup happened, on some levels I was hoping they wouldn’t get back together because then I might have a chance.

But I did what I always do. I became the strong-as-a-rock type; the one you come to for support. Which is exactly what I offered. So when I said I was glad they were getting back together, I felt like a liar. On some levels it probably was a lie—my chances were once again zero. (Maybe they always were.) The problem is I can only be what I am, which is, sometimes to my detriment, a nice guy.

That nice guy persona of mine has led me down the primrose path twice. The first time I fooled myself into believing I had a relationship with a girl in school, but it turned out she was only leading me on for help with homework. The second time the girl was genuinely interested in me, but she only wanted me as a friend. I got to the point where I was deeply, madly in love with her, but she wasn’t with me. It destroyed my whole concept of dating and relationships, and to this day I say with a straight face that I’ve never been on a date because she told me that we never dated—we were just friends.

So here I am. Someone that has been labeled a nice guy who has finished on the short end of two relationships. (The half relationship doesn’t really count.) Will I continue to finish last? Only time will tell…

Wedding Already Planned, Just Needs Groom

Wow! I thought I was nuts for starting this blog and writing about looking for my significant other. (Who knows, maybe I am.) But one woman has me beat!

Her name is Lisa Linehan. After she attended a wedding last winter, she decided that she was tired of being alone, and she wanted to get married. Lisa took her project a few steps further than I did. She has already planned her wedding. She's got the date, time, dress, venue and reception already planned out for next February! Like I said before, wow! (CNN did an interview with her, linked here.)

I really admire people who put those kinds of deadlines on themselves. It reminds me a little of the Julie/Julia project when Julie Powell cooked her way through Julia Child's Mastering the Art of French Cooking in a year. I think the stakes are a little higher this time around.

Lisa has a Facebook page, a website, and a Twitter site set up. She is actively looking, and I mean ACTIVELY looking. I'm looking, but not nearly as aggressively as she is. (I'm quite a bit shyer than she is.) Still, I think it's pretty cool that she's taken her search to the next level. I hope she and I are both successful!

(In case anyone is interested, I did email her and let her know about this blog.)

Should the Project Head To Lubbock?

I've been thinking about my triumphal return to Lubbock, and I'm asking myself, should I take this project to Lubbock? That is, should I try to find a singles group at a church in a place where I don't anticipate living for the foreseeable future? I can make arguments both ways: On the negative side, chances are I won't ever end up here again due to the lack of a market for engineers. On the positive side there is always the chance that I could end up back in Lubbock, and it never hurts to see what's available.

Of course it doesn't help that church websites are usually vague about what they offer. I did a quick search on the Disciples of Christ website for congregations in Lubbock. One website didn't exist. The other three had general websites with statements to the effect of they offer a broad range of programs. I'm betting that they offer a broad range with the typical donut hole for singles 25-40.

I know of one church in Lubbock that fills that donut hole, but I'm loath to go to it. It's First Baptist Church on Broadway. I went to that church for fifteen years, ever since I was a baby. I remember most of the people I went to Sunday school with as being stuck up. At the very least I didn't fit in at all. I ejected from that church when I saw the rampant hypocrisy and the Baptist indoctrination. That's when I broke with organized religion for several years.

Now that it's a few years later, I'm back into the swing of things, but looking for something very specific. Like I said before, I don't want this blog to become a church critic website, but if I don't keep looking, then I won't accomplish the goal. I'll have to check my schedule--after all I did make a couple of commitments. If I can make a church, I think I'll try.

Physically in Arlington, Mentally in Lubbock

Next weekend is the first all class high school reunion at my high school. I am incredibly psyched to be going. I've been looking forward to it for weeks, and the closer I get to it, the more I'm looking forward to it. It's to the point that I was driving home from work tonight planning on how I would leave for Lubbock tomorrow, except that I'm not leaving for another five days! I just can't wait to get back.

It's interesting that I'm looking forward to this event this much. There could be a lot of drama and anxiety. I keep having scenes of sitcoms running through my head of people stressing about what they have and haven't done as they are preparing to go to their reunions. If you obsess over where you are versus where you could be, then this is a legitimate concern.

I guess my only real concern is that I'm going back to my reunion, alone. Out of all the people that graduated in my class, I think I and maybe our exchange student are the only two who haven't been engaged, married, or separated. I won't be the only person there alone. My friend who got married and divorced in five days will be there. He's single by choice now that he's divorced.

I'm not divorced, married, engaged, or dating, or even had a date, so it'll be interesting to see if the subject comes up. Notwithstanding that, I'm still looking forward to seeing everybody. I'm even trying to organize a "Shoot Your Way Through US History" event. So far, I've got one of the three teachers that I wanted to committed--I can't get the other two. But until next Thursday, I need to focus a little more on being here than there.

Long Term Relationships Can Go Bust

When I was growing up, I didn't hear a lot about relationships that went bust, at least not long term relationships. It seemed to me that the longer two people were together, the better their chances were of having a strong relationship. I cite for example my parents. Over thirty years together, and they're still going strong. But lately it seems that I see more long term relationships go bust.

The first I saw disintegrate was my best friend's. He and his high school sweetheart were together in school for over six years. The met in high school, stayed together all through college, and were destined for marriage. Or so everyone thought. They looked perfect together. They got married, and five days later, she through him out of the house. A few weeks and two lawyers later, and they were officially divorced. We were all stunned.

Another stunner for me was my friend Carrie's parents. They had been married for over twenty years. (I think over twenty five, but I can't remember.) They went through a lot: layoffs, splitting the family so the dad could work in another city. But it appeared to be working. Then, one day out of the blue, Carrie calls me and tells me that her mom caught her dad cheating. Several months later and that relationship was over.

Just a couple of days ago, one of my former downstairs neighbors apparently split with her long-time boyfriend. Like my best friend, she had been with him for years, ever since school. Then, all of a sudden, I see on Facebook that both have changed their relationship statuses to single. I chatted with her and found out it was true. Again, a total shock!

Long-term relationships that go bust are shocking to me, and they also scare me. I want a relationship that will last the rest of my or her life, whichever of us goes first. But every time I see a relationship from a seemingly strong couple that implodes like this it just makes me cringe. Do I want to expose myself to that kind of emotional stress? I guess I don't really get a choice if I really want to get married.

Another Night Alone

This is one of those nights that I'm ashamed of my social life and myself. I knocked off work at a fairly normal time, got home, and wasted the night away playing around on the computer and repriming more spent brass.

Did I do anything socially? Nope. I just stayed home and vegged. Why? Among other things, I don't know anybody. I don't know where I would go. There's nothing happening that I know of. I'm so brain dead when I get home from work that I'm not sure I could handle going out. And on, and on, and on the reasons go.

Yet the end result is that I spend the night alone and didn't improve my chances of meeting anyone. I'm pretty disgusted with myself right now.

A (Sort Of) Blind Date

Yesterday afternoon was the day Yizong brought his friend over to my house. I really didn't know what to expect, and I wanted to make a good impression, so I spent Saturday doing something I should have done a long time ago: cleaning house. I got my front rooms and kitchen spic and span, as well as my guest bathroom. I closed the doors to my office and the spare bedroom as well as to my main bedroom. A good cleaning was just what I (and my house) needed, so whether or not Yizong would cancel, I felt good about the job.

Yizong didn't cancel. He, his baby, and his friend, Kathryn, showed at about 3:30 yesterday afternoon. Neither Kathryn nor I knew what to expect, and I think we both felt a little awkward around each other while he wasn't present. He wanted me to show her around, and I started to do so when his phone rang, and he took the call IN MY BEDROOM! This was the bedroom that was entirely unkempt and nasty, even by my standards.

Moreover, all my guns were in there. I have to say, I wasn't really looking forward to trotting out all my old warriors, but he wouldn't have it any other way. Yizong wanted Kathryn to see everything I had, and I dutifully hauled out whatever he asked me to show, feeling like I was hurting my chances more and more with each rifle that appeared.

When we got through doing show and tell with the rifles, he wanted me to demonstrate ammo reloading. I did so, going through the steps of putting together some 9mm, which was what I was loading at the time. After I did that, both he and Kathryn wanted to load their own round. Yikes! I didn't mind, but reloading is something that you have to pay attention to, and I watched them like a hawk to make sure nothing bad happened.

It was all the watching, running, and serving that made this feel weird. It didn't feel date-like at all, but it didn't even feel like I was hosting friends. It felt like I was hosting Yizong, and Kathryn was just an accessory. After the reloading, I tried to balance out my attention to make sure Kathryn and I were talking so that I wasn't performing for Yizong.

I felt like progress was being made in that department until Yizong's one year old decided to start engaging my cat. Dash, my cat, usually doesn't like strange people (although she liked Kathryn), and she's not used to having people chase her around. Yizong and Niuniu (his baby) chased Dash around enough until she got tired, then Niuniu decided to try to touch Dash. Really, according to Yizong, she tried to poke Dash.

Dash doesn't take kindly to being poked by strangers, and she reached out and touched Niuniu to let her know she didn't appreciate the gesture. Niuniu ran back to Yizong, crying like the world was coming to an end. We all checked her, and all Niuniu had was a tiny little scratch on her eyelid courtesy of Dash. At that point the afternoon's activity was pretty much done.

I had hoped that Kathryn didn't feel threatened or weird being around a guy that's a gun collector and a reloader, but she said she thought it was cool. We didn't get to exchange any kind of info or make any other plans due to the hasty departure necessitated by Niuniu's boo boo, so I'm not sure exactly how it all ended. Yizong promised to call me, but I'm afraid he's in the doghouse with Xiaoyan when she finds out about Niuniu and Dash. Let's hope it all works out for both him and me.

Church Review - St. Andrew's United Methodist Church

St. Andrew's United Methodist Church
2045 SE Green Oaks Blvd.
Arlington, TX 76018
(817) 465-3043
www.sa-umc.org

St. Andrew's UMC is a church that I have driven past many times both going to and from work. This last week I was looking at some church websites that were close to my house, and I cruised over to SAUMC's website. I must say, it impresses me. It's up to date, provides a lot of good info, and has a dedicated site for its singles group.

SAUMC has three services each Sunday and one on Saturday. I went to the first service this morning. The church has a nice architecture. It has a main foyer that is circular and leads into two buildings: one for classrooms and the sanctuary.

The sanctuary has a nice pyramidical thing going on. The stage had a bunch of modern instruments: guitars, basses, drums, keyboards, etc. There were two projectors, and there were a few hymnals in the seats. The seats are the link-together types that are becoming increasingly popular.

Something that would be popular with me is the bulletin. To call it complete would be underselling it by a considerable stretch. The bulletin that was handed to me was twelve pages long. The bulletin for the service was the "centerfold." Everything else was announcements, calendars, events, articles and spaces for notes. It's a combination workbook/newsletter. Another thing I noticed was the paper. This was printed on very heavy paper that verged on card stock. It's all saddle stapled together. I am impressed.

Two other things impressed me. When I came in there were signs that said that the food pantry was empty. The signs were in English and Spanish. I'm absolutely thrilled that churches are actually running food pantries. The last church I attended collected food, but it always referred the needy to the organization for which it collected.

The other thing that impressed me was the church website. As I said before, it is complete, up to date, informative, modern looking and slightly understated. But more importantly, it fit the church, which is to say it wasn't some flashy contrivance that the church paid for. It looks to be developed by the church itself, and there is some real talent going into it. I highly recommend checking it out.

After ten minutes of checking out the foyer and the sanctuary, the service started. As anticipated, there was no choir. Worship is done by a worship team. All the songs were modern. Nothing came out of the hymnals that I noticed. As I was looking around, I counted about 70 or so bodies in the early service. The sanctuary could comfortably seat 300.

Going forward with the service, at one point there were acolytes that came forward to light the candles. I'm familiar with this practice, but I wasn't expecting it at this church. It seems anachronistic given the setting, but I like the statement it makes. There was another statement made during the offertory. After the plates had been collected and marched down the center aisle, they were given to the pastor, and the pastor raised and held them before the stained glass window in front of the altar. I'm not sure what the statement was meant to convey, but I had visions of some pagan ritual from Indiana Jones (or something like that) running through my mind. I'm not saying it's bad; I'm just saying it was different.

As to the sermon, it was interesting. There were a couple of times that the pastor editorialized a little, and I was prepared to write it off until he invoked Jonah. I gotta say, I thought he was nuts by some of the things he was saying about Jonah, but I flipped to that book and quickly read through it. All I can say is WOW! When I read through Jonah, I totally didn't get the perspective he had. His perspective was foreign to me, and in the words of one of my former ministers, it "offended my sensibilities" because I wasn't used to hearing it. But he was absolutely right in what he said. My mental model definitely needed adjusting, and it reinforces my need to go through the Bible again.

The end of the service had the typical altar call. The only thing that I thought was slightly atypical was the amount of time they waited during the altar call. The worship team sang one stanza of the song, and that was it! A few announcements later, and we were done. I thought my old church had a hair trigger on altar calls (just one song, but all stanzas), but just singing once through a single stanza? That seems really short to me, but maybe it was because it was the early service.

After the service I went upstairs in their education building to their singles group. It was held in a parlor-like setting with sofas, easy chairs, and other chairs that had been brought in from somewhere else (maybe the choir room). There were 19 bodies that ultimately showed up for the class. The ages ranged from late twenties to probably late 50s (and maybe one or two in the early 60s range). There was no teacher--instead various members of the class take turns delivering the lesson.

Concerning the lesson, it appeared to come from some sort of book. Whether or not it is a formal curriculum or a devotional I couldn't tell. It concerned persistent praying. I kept silence most of the time. Most people had been there for some time, and there was a lot of sharing of experiences, so being the new guy, I felt that silence was the better part of valor.

Once the class was over, I asked a couple of bookkeeping questions. Apparently this was an abnormally large group today. Most of the time there are fewer people. I noticed that, with one or two exceptions, I was definitely on the young end of the spectrum. There were two other men in my age range, and two women. One woman appeared to have a ring. I couldn't tell what the age of the other was. When I had all my notes, I beat it for home.

I'm not really sure how I feel about SAUMC. I loathe editorializing on the Bible, but I'm finding that it's a standard thing to do for most ministers, and I can sort out the differences. The singles group, on the other hand, is something that I don't exactly feel comfortable with. At present it feels that most subjects covered in there will be shallower than what I'm looking for, and the deep conversations I desire would probably scare some people or brand me a heretic. Long story short, I'm not excluding SAUMC from my list of possible candidates, but right now it's at the bottom.

How Do I Pick a Church?

How do you go about picking a church? That's a question I'm still working on myself. Sometimes I just drive by a church and mark it down to try. Sometimes I do an Internet search. Sometimes I'll take a suggestion from a friend or acquaintance or go to a church of a friend. But it's the Internet that interests me tonight.

Church internet sites are one of the more interesting things I've dealt with in the last year. I was the webmaster for my last church. We had a website that was kind of thrown together and did little more than stake our claim on the Internet. It wasn't there for much else. When I took it over, I asked the powers that be what they wanted the website to be. To this day I never got a good answer.

A lot of churches have that same problem. The have a website, but they don't know what they want to do with it. Oftentimes that manifests itself in a website that has little more information than their name, address and phone number. Most have some mention of their pastor, and some general information on the church, but nothing that really makes a person to want to try it out.

I've been asking myself why churches like to do things like that. I think it's because churches really don't understand the Internet. Whenever a person logs onto a website, it like meeting a person face to face. The face that is presented makes all the difference in the world. Some websites are professionally done and scream the church paid for it. Some are done by a freelance member of the congregation that know just enough about web programming to get a website out on the web. I try to look past all that to what is actually presented.

What I find is what speaks volumes, or rather what I don't find. Of course I look for the standard stuff: name, time and place. In addition to that, I look for a mission statement and a listing of what they offer. It's not exactly a menu I'm looking for, but there needs to be enough detail to make an intelligent decision.

In the case of singles ministries, I look for something that says, "we have a singles group." When I find a website that has a singles ministry explicitly stated, that's a huge plus. Unfortunately, that's very rarely the case. A lot of times churches merely state that they have offerings for children, adults, seniors, and couples. In that case I look at the ministers to see if there is a contact for a singles minister. Again, most of the time, that's not done, either.

I could continue talking about websites, but there's enough info to fill a book, and that's not why you're here. To tie it all together, when I look for a church, a website that is well put together and has the information I'm looking for usually gets a visit from me. Because there are so few that do, using the web to find a church with a singles group is pretty hard.

Just Sit Down, Shut Up, and Start Going to Church

There are a lot of people who think going to church is more important than anything else in the world. Their entire world revolves around a church. They live and dive with the church happenings. They don't understand people that aren't attached at the hip to a church. Why is that?

There's a lot of things that go into Christianity and the church, and if you paid close attention, you'll notice that I changed articles, from a church to the church. What's the difference? Quite a lot. The church, or Christ's church, is the sum total of all believers in the world. Not all of them go to the same church or belong to the same sect. Not all of them are even in the same country. But they all believe in Christ as savior. That's the church.

People confuse the church with a church. For some it's as simple as a sectarian difference. For example the Baptists think they've got it right, and the Disciples of Christ are bats. The Disciples, on the other hand, think they've got it right, and the Baptists are the ones that are nuts. That's a big part of a lot of conflicts within the church, but it's not what I'm talking about here.

What I'm talking about here are the members of one particular church. Here's an example. Aunt Martha goes to Calvary Christian Church. She's gone there for years, and so has the rest of her family. Aunt Martha was raised in the church. She knows everyone by name. She knows why, fifteen years ago a hundred people split with CCC and formed First Christian Church of Fremont. It's still a sore point to her. She doesn't understand people nowadays that come to CCC, stay for a month, and leave.

Recently she met a new young woman named Abby. Abby was also raised in a church by Christian parents. Abby is a Christian, graduated college five years ago, and is looking for a church with a singles program where she can meet some other people her age and have some fun. The problem, Abby found out, is after looking at CCC for four weeks, CCC doesn't have a singles program. In fact most of the people that go to CCC are just like Aunt Martha: older, raised in CCC, and have never really experienced anything outside of CCC. Abby left CCC to find something that fits better with her needs and desires.

There's a fundamental assumption by these Aunt Martha types, and that is that her church can minister to everyone regardless of circumstances, so there is no need to look for a new church. How wrong these people are. If a church is not set up to minister in certain ways, then it can't minister in those ways to those people. Sounds simple enough, doesn't it?

It is simple except for one thing. A lot of churches are arrogant enough to believe that they can minister to anyone, anytime, any where. But when they try and fail, they don't understand why it didn't work.

Here's another way to look at it. A doctor and a plumber do both the same thing. Both reroute tubes to improve the flow of liquid. But why does the plumber not do heart surgery and the surgeon not put in bath tubs? Because the plumber doesn't know anything about the human heart, and the surgeon doesn't know anything about drain traps and wet walls. Likewise churches that aren't set up to minister to singles shouldn't try unless and until they have learned how to do it. Otherwise they end up like CCC in our example above.

Why don't I sit down, shut up, and just find a church? Because I reject the premise that all churches can minister to all people effectively. And with all the churches out there, there ought to be one to minister to me. It's just a matter of finding it.

Did I Just Get Set Up On A Blind Date?

I think I may have just gotten set up on a blind date. My friend Yizong can make interesting things happen, and he wants me to meet his friend. "I'm not trying to hook you up!" he says, but nonetheless I'm meeting his friend this Sunday afternoon. He says it'll be just a time to hang out and maybe watch a movie. At my house, of course. Not knowing what a blind date looks like, I can't be sure, but it sure smacks of one.

Should I Leave A Calling Card?

Churches are notorious for wanting information. Every time I set foot in a church as a visitor I get asked to fill out a communications card. This card asks for name, address, phone number, email address, interests, comments and sometimes prayer requests. It's a lot of identifying information, and I'm not all the comfortable filling out all that info especially when I don't know what will be done with it.

When I was part of the evangelism department in my old church, we designed such a card for our church. The answer to what will be done with that data was two-pronged: First, it would be kept for statistical purposes. Second, it would be used as a method of contact so the church could follow up on the visit.

Following up presents an interesting issue with this project. Do I want a church to follow up with me after a visit? The answer is, sometimes not. In certain circumstances, definitely not. If I went to a church that I thought was absolutely hideous, I don't want them having my information and calling me to find out how I liked it. To date I've only revealed identifying information to one church since I've started this project.

So how do I get around not leaving a communications card? My initial solution was to come up with my own calling card with my name and the address of this blog. I figured that if the church really wanted feedback on the visit, then reading my review on this blog should be sufficient.

But I haven't put together a card until now. Part of the reason I've delayed is that I didn't want this to be seen as a church critic website. A critic's website has one purpose, to review churches. While that's part of what I do, it's not all I write about. Unfortunately none of that matters with people who want to ignore the extra, but I think it is time to formulate a calling card.

Why should I leave a calling card? First, when I'm asked if I've filled out a communications card, I can truthfully say that I have. Second, I won't say anything on this blog that I won't say to someone's face. (Although on this blog I may say it differently due to the audience.) By designing my own card I can control what kind of information I leave while at the same time the church can make a statistical record of a new person being in the church. Is it a perfect solution? Probably not, but it's the best I can come up with right now.