The Dilemma

Ok, I'm three churches into the project and I've found one that I kinda like.

Up Sides
Nice people (at least the ones I've met)
Conservative
Matches a lot of my political leanings
Likes guns
Have a singles group
Close to home

Down Sides
Small
No datable women (that I've observed)
Baptist paradigm

In summary, I could very easily stay here and feel comfortable politically, and I think I would feel comfortable spiritually. But I haven't really noticed anything available in terms of single datable women. There were a handful of high school and junior high types yesterday, but not really anything past that. Of the three candidates I met, one is returning to school in California, one is moving to Maine, and the third already has a boyfriend. Add to that my estimate that I'm probably 8-10 years older than all three of them, it makes it difficult to justify staying if I'm searching for a wife.

And that's the real dilemma. I called this blog "In Search of the Single Christian" because I'm looking for that one person with whom I'll spend the rest of my life. This church would probably fulfill the first criteria I set for this project, having a singles group. But I'm dubious whether it would fulfill the second, namely having an available dating pool. There seem to be two schools of thought on this subject. One says just stay still, quit looking, and someone will find you. The "Christian" viewpoint seems to be just wait, and God will lead that person to you. The second says if you don't get out and look, you'll never find anything at all, with the "Christian" viewpoint being: God will lead you to the right person.

I really can't reconcile the two. Am I or am I not supposed to be engaged in an active search for a wife? I can't even come up with a good Biblical answer. The Bible says right up front that it is not good for a man to be alone (Genesis 2:18). but Paul says it's good not to marry (I Corinthians 7). That is, if a person can control him or herself. I think it would be fairly obvious to anyone who has met me that I have self control issues--that's why I had gastric bypass surgery in December. And I have other issues here, so it is my feeling that I should get married, but then I run into the bane of relationship advice.

"Oh Joe, don't worry. God has someone for everybody." That's the line that gets handed to me over and over, and I reject it as one of the worst lies I've ever heard! First of all, how does anyone know what God does or does not have in store for anyone??? That's arrogant presumption. Second, I think there are definitely people who should not get married under any circumstances. Am I one of those people? I would like to think not, but then I'm not God, either. I just can't reconcile myself into this situation.

What I have reconciled myself to is the concept that if I don't make myself available, then I have no shot meeting anybody. The question is: where do I go to meet this person? This blog was started on the premise that a singles group would be one place. I concede that it's not the only place, but I wouldn't know where else to start.

In the short term, my decision is a little more practical: do I keep going to this church or keep looking? Guess I've got five days to decide.