After the first week it was the group that left a lot to be desired. Chuck started in by focusing on what the church does well. I suppose there is room for that, and maybe that's the best way to start this kind of introspection, but I'm always apprehensive when a study starts out by stroking someone's or something's ego. I nearly left it after the first session.
Indeed, I had resolve to simply hand my notes over prior to the second session, but Chuck called the group off the second week due to his being sick. That gave me another week to consider whether or not I would stay on this group. On further consideration, I deemed it better to stay in and take my lumps.
Last week I dealt the lumps. We did a little review and talked about first impressions. After two thirds of an hour, Chuck asked me to read my notes from my visit to TCC. Not wanting to spread too much disharmony and discord, I offered to just hit the highlights, but someone asked me to read them verbatim. I did so. (The notes in question were the blog entry for July 11, 2010.) I read it with as little emotion as I could so as not to present the wrong impression.
After I was done, there was total silence in the room for a few moments. To say it was a pregnant pause wouldn't do it justice. A couple of people kinda held their breaths. I wasn't at all sure what the next step would be. Bonnie was assimilating the info. Bea, I think, was assimilating the info but relieved that I hadn't noticed her perceived peccadillo. Maria wasn't sure what to say, but I couldn't really read her. Gayle was, of the people there, the most shocked at what I had to say. For the rest of the meeting she didn't say much, and it's quite possible she didn't say anything at all.
Eventually, after a few heartbeats, Chuck picked things up and asked me why I came back. I answered truthfully and with one word: Yizong. Chuck was gracious to concentrate on that preexisting relationship, but I suspect that the feeling in the room was that, had Yizong not been there, I surely would not. That would be a correct assumption, and not necessarily one that won't come to pass.
After the meeting, Bonnie wanted to know why I wasn't comfortable with TCC. Over the next hour, I recounted the tale of RCC, Chuck's involvement, my history and involvement, and the circumstances that lead to my departure. I explained the search that I had embarked on, some of the history and background of the project leading up to my decision to land, at least temporarily, at TCC. I was frank to the point of brutal in my reasoning for joining the church, and Bonnie quite correctly pointed out that, if indeed my intention was to find a singles group and a mate, then TCC might not be the place for me.
Too true, but we'll see. There is another meeting of this hospitality group tonight. I'll be there, but not nearly as prepared as I'd like. This morning I didn't make it to church, so I didn't really have the chance to observe everything I wanted. I'll try to observe as much as I can and recount the rest to be complete for tonight's discussion.
Should I consider taking the project forward and exploring new churches? I'm beginning to think that I should. Yizong's photography class is dying fast and hard, and I don't really see any ministry that could minister to me. Bonnie sees me as a challenge, both in hospitality as well as ability. I think she identifies me as someone who needs a special kind of care and feeding. Whether she has come to that realization or not, that assessment is quite correct. I'm not the average bear when it comes to interaction and background, and several churches have learned that the hard way.
Where will I end up???
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